Abstinence dating

Maggie and her boyfriend never had penetrative sex at any point during their five-year relationship; in fact, they never even slept in the same room. They did, however, partake in oral sex as well as mutual masturbation. As it turns out, this was a recurring theme in many of the conversations Mic had with people who had abstinent partners: While penetrative sex was off the table, there was a great deal of grey area in terms of whether other sex acts were considered OK.

Ross said that to many people, both inside and outside the abstinent community, his relationship with his ex-girlfriend wouldn't be considered abstinent. There's a strong sense of shame associated not only with sex outside of marriage, but with sex in general.

Dating an Abstinent Girl

While she had previously had sex with other partners, he was a virgin, as she learned when they had their first kiss and he "made a big deal" out of it. When Darlene told Tyler about her previous sexual experiences, it hurt and upset him, which made her feel guilty about her own sexual history. He then told her family that she had previously slept with other people. Five months into their relationship, Darlene and Tyler ultimately decided to have sex, which she says he initiated.

Although they later started having sex regularly, things still weren't quite right. Tyler continued to feel guilty, as well as resentful of Darlene's past sexual experience. After two years of dating on and off, Tyler and Darlene broke up. Saying goodbye to abstinence: Darlene's experience with Tyler highlights a major reason why dating an abstinent person tends to be so difficult. For those who have taken a chastity vow, being chaste is not a casual religious practice, like going to church on holidays or getting baptized.

Instead, it's a large part of your identity. For Christians in particular, sex is a spiritual and intimate act that should only be shared with one other person, so the guilt over sharing that with someone who is not your spouse is deeply felt. I remained abstinent into my early 20s, and it made my love life incredibly challenging, to say the least.

Dates couldn't wrap their heads around the idea that I was devout, so they would goad me and try to sweet-talk me into having sex. They were convinced I didn't truly believe in my vow, or that I didn't truly know what I wanted. They insisted that I just hadn't met the right guy yet, or that I just needed a gentle and experienced lover to show me the ropes. None of these things were true, and when I stuck to my beliefs, some dates were truly nasty about it.

My own decision to leave abstinence behind was as heartfelt and painstakingly thought-through as my initial vow of celibacy. I ended up losing my virginity at 24, to someone I'd met at a bar 48 hours before leaving the country for several months. Though I recognized it would likely be a one-time thing, I felt completely empowered, like I had nothing to lose. I ended up falling in love with him over the months that followed.

Losing my virginity helped me realize that sex would always be a fluid thing for me, something I would and could change my mind about over time. I know from experience that the decision to remain chaste is not easy for anyone; in fact, it's often a great emotional struggle. But it's less about the decision to have sex and more about being true to yourself and your core beliefs. Now that I'm no longer abstinent, I'm still being as true to myself as I was when I first took the pledge.

I just realized that who I was was, and always will be, changing. Why women's rights activists want a "no" vote for Brett Kavanaugh. Most recent Hotel, hostel or airbnb? Still I am not proud of what I did do. I personally believe that anything more than kissing especially passionate kissing will get you into trouble. The bible calls us to be pure in what we do and how we treat the Holy Spirits temple, so I try to follow that.

The urges will subside and things between Jesus and you are usually smoother. I plan on being very strictly 2 in my next relationship. I think that is a good place to be in and a place where God can bless your relationship with him and possibly your potential spouse.

Has anyone else found that if thoughts are actively kept from wandering that they need no sexual release? Whether by your self or a partner? OK, I believe in WTM but this pyramid is wrong, and I think it could actually hurt your chances of waiting until marriage. Level 1 is impractical in Western society. It CAN work in societies that still have arranged marriages, and where there is a cultural norm that protects those marriages from divorce.

No normal human could fight that kind of temptation by themselves. That is what Level 1 sounds like. Dating has a whole lot of pitfalls, and you can get hurt in the process, and it can also cause you to sin. Because we are all sinners to begin with! But God still loves us! No dating, no problem, right? Well…not until you end up getting divorced. Better to never marry at all, than to get married and later divorced. And remember that while it takes 2 people to agree to marry, it takes only 1 to initiate a divorce….

If you have very strong faith in God, maybe you are confident that God will protect you from divorce.

Who’s pledging “purity?”

But I think that God, as loving as He is, also wants us to make wise decisions for ourselves. We treat it like a commodity. Marriage is just another relationship in a sea of never-ending relationships that never seem to last. We live only in the moment. Here are two reasons I think:. Men and women perceive sex very differently, because the hormonal reactions to sex are different in men and women.

Both can be horny, but for different reasons. The hormones generated by sex create a bond in a relationship. Sex should make it harder for you to break-up. Sex is a drug. The effect it has on our brains is actually more powerful than heroin. Is it a good drug or a bad drug? Well, that depends how you use it. I have a non-Christian friend who has for several years been in a very bad relationship with a girl who is obviously no good for him, but he keeps going back to her and he has even been suicidal without her.

He lost his virginity to this girl, and he has tried to have sex with other girls to get over her, but failed. So he thinks he is in love with her, but I am suspicious that his hormones are playing a big role in how he feels. His addiction to her definitely has a physical component. The two of them even tried to get married, but that was long after they had sex.

But regardless, the two of them make each other miserable. Because intimacy should be based on trust, not hormones. Not having sex before marriage will not entirely prevent you from entering painful relationships like the one my friend is in, but it will help. Keep your eyes as wide open as possible during the process. If you start feeling too intimate too soon in a relationship, it may blind you just like sex.

Intimacy can be both emotional and physical. It also has a hormone associated with it, called oxytocin. Sex can also produce this hormone, but it produces a lot of other hormones as well, and is different in men and women, which in my opinion makes it less intimate unless you already have strong intimacy in the relationship. They are not on the same scale. Kissing and holding hands the Level 2 are expressions of physical intimacy that can generate oxytocin.

But you can also get a surge of oxytocin going to your head when someone smiles at you. Hugging can also generate oxytocin. And cuddling is also usually oxytocin-driven. So unless you consider smiling to be a crime, most forms of physical intimacy, including but not limited to the Level 2, are relatively harmless from a hormone perspective. The litmus test for whether something is sexual is whether it can lead to an orgasm or not. You do have to be careful about temptation, because certain forms of physical intimacy like if you are both naked may increase your temptation to have sex or that of your partner.

But the reverse can also be true. We live in a society that objectifies the human body to the point where we feel that anything we do with those bodies is dirty. This objectification is so pervasive in society, that everyone is influenced by it to an extent. Our bodies are not dirty, and learning to become intimate without sex is a way to break the mental patterns that lead to sexual objectification.

Physical intimacy can be a good thing, if the goal of that intimacy is to develop control over your bodies rather than to lose it. Of course, in trying to do so, you take a risk. Allow sexual stimulation with orgasm, but for only one person at a time. As you start to develop a mutual understanding, and learn what your sexual values are and what kind of temptations you each have, you can start to move to Level 2.

As your relationship starts to develop, you will end up on a climb between Level 2 and Level 3. In my mind, Level 3 is kind of the ideal place to be right before you decide to get married. Instead of focusing on the shame, you need to focus on the fact that the real danger in this hormonal drug dependency. There is a real difference between Levels 4,5 and 6, because each of those levels is physically different in terms of the risk you have developing that dependency.

The difference between 6 and 7 on the other hand, is more symbolic. Even Paul said to get married if avoiding sexual immorality became too great a task. Obviously this is not the purpose or only reason for marriage but he was stressing the fact that sexual immorality was what people needed to avoid. God focuses on the full commitment to each other. He makes it clear when he mentions how a man leaves his father and mother to unite with his wife. I have searched the bible and the idea of commitment is always stressed.

The whole concept it to rely on God in all of your decisions and what he needs you to do. While Jesus recognized the laws of Moses he also indicates many times how humans have twisted them to mean something different from what they were created for. It is important to understand first what commitment means in a marriage. Could you move to another part of the world leaving everything you know and love for your spouse?

If something unfortunate happened and one of you became sick with cancer would you remain commited even then? Most importantly however, are you reading and studying the bible and understanding what your role in a marriage should be and how to best fulfill that with God? I myself am not married but I recently moved in with my boyfriend of 2 years. We are family and we understand that and trust in it. While it may not be a perfect set up we are very much in love and deeply devoted to the other. I read the bible and pray attend bible study and church and study it like a subject in school.

I read how to be a good wife for my husband and we pray for each other and our relationship. The bottom line is that I love my Lord and just like Jesus told the men who were going to stone the adulterous woman to death in paraphrase anyone who has never committed a sin can throw a stone. And of course everyone left because we are ALL sinners. It is not our job to judge each other but to gently correct each other in our errors. Many people in our country are getting married, having huge ceremonies and then getting a divorce the next year which is having tremendous financial implications on the economy.

So who is worse?


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We live in a world filled with sin everywhere you turn and gods laws are designed to guide you and protect you through his love. I know who my spouse is and he knows me and we are fully committed to eachother forever. We both understand and are dedicated to further understanding what that means and applying it. We do not try and justify our sins to God but rather admit them and ask him to help us get better. When we hit a struggle together or alone we come to God with it and ask for his guidance. Everything you do must be motivated by your love and gracefulness to Christ.

You understand this through the bible, prayer, Godly counselors and any other recourse He might bring your way that is true and Glorfies Him. As you can see my story is not perfect but I trust that god will help me and show me how to make it perfect. Even if I had a ceremony and was legally married I would still have to do the same thing. But seek him for these matter and not just these forums online. Because everyone is in a different situation in their lives and in their walk with Him and you must take care to choose your advice wisely. He should be directing you on where to look for answers and you may be surprised about some of the topics he brings to your attention.

He can direct you to prayer a church in your community, a new friend or group of friends with the Holy Spirit or His word through the bible. Good luck on your journey and your walk with Christ and may He give you the peace which surpasses all understanding in every decision you make with Him.


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  • I forgot to mention after all of that haha — we do plan on having a ceremony and legalizing our marriage but it is not in the cards financially for us yet for a number of reasons right now. So we are committed to fulfilling that in the in the near future. I fit into category 3. My girlfriend and i talk about sex very often, but stay away from the act, although I would like to have Sex with her, were willing to wait for each other.

    Maybe there is another category, because we both want sex, and if the timing is right, with the right person, there seems to be no harm in that, may the lord strengthen us all! He will probably drop down on his knees upon reading it- I pretty much did haha. He lost that woman because of some crazy circumstances involving a feigned pregnancy shortly after the act o. Weve been to stage 3 a few times, but kept finding ourselves in the same damn place: Its cheating, its playing with fire, its disregarding His word… and its hard for me at times because i dont understand the harm in indulging in how God made us with the special someone who I love, but its important to me to keep us strong-willed and lasting, and to respect my own purity that i still have.

    I was looking at a gps a couple seconds too long… crashed into his EX. I should have died… my car was obliterated- glass shattered all around me. They refused to get to know me a few months back, and would not look me in the eyes. I remember reading in Psychology Today that a person can fall in love 12x in their lifetime, and so I say this:.

    And… I would leave him to find her if it was something God pointed me to do. If it meant his happiness and less stress- I would do it in a heartbeat. And you, are a labor of love. So I ask those of you on this site who may have read our crazy spiel and smiled, to maybe help pray for us.

    All humans have a body, that is true, but the body is only one part of the whole person; we are body soul and spirit, the flesh should be enjoyed for the masterwork that it is, but our souls have to master the body. Personally, I have met thousands of people of the opposite gender in my life after turning from a very sexually messed up youth, and it has not been necessary for me to rub their sunscreen in, thrash around in the back seat, or really even be alone together for a length of time to help decide if they were for me, or if I was for them.

    No, people just want to be intimate with emotions, hands and body fluid because they just like getting high on each other, if they are honest they will admit, that they just want to use each other before they really belong to each other. Is it about the person who will give them self to you? That is a question I have to ask myself also, but I am concerned because I see a lot of human selfishness in the above comments, and I thought that is what we were supposed to be being saved from. What is it with all of you and the God stuff? I mean, come on, already. Just do Anal like all the catholic chicks.

    I love catholic chicks because they will actually do anal first. JK but this is very true as many of you girls know!! Have fun waiting, I have been with a girl for 12 years we are not married and have sex all the time. It feels great, plus a God is not real. Try moving away from religious websites and open your mind. God must be a prick if he gave us all this pleasure and no outlet. Oh yeah he is made up. I know u all either masturbate or something. We all have testosterone, even you ladies!

    What do you do anal? I will enjoy all of the above since I read many books hundreds and not just 1 to get all my life information. By the way, the bible was written years after the fact and translated over times. U are a Christian because of where you were born. If you were born in Somalia then you would be a Muslim. I could go on and on but I need to go fuck my girl, she is waiting and moaning for it.

    What It's Actually Like to Date Someone Who's Celibate

    Ya just do Anal. That is not sex. It just makes since, especially with the bible. You can do anal in Islam too and not go to hell. Is this a satire page or do ppl really think like this? What a boring life. Hope heaven actually exists cause if not you just wasted your life.


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    • You might as well go ahead and off yourself to go ahead and get to heaven. Unless maybe you have doubts. So true, why is everyone not begging to die if they really belive in heaven. You are so lucky, I wish I could take your place. We are responsible for our own happiness, and no god is gonna give it to you.

      Enjoy life, have sex and wear a condom. Thx for the info. Praise be to God!!!!! Even Saddleback — Tim Curry: Okay, you do realise that we can see your IP address as you post? You might have at least waited a few hours between comments. And lastly, all your religious arguments — again, pointless, because this is not a religious site. Firstly, if you think religious people only read one book, then you obviously have never met a religious person in your life.

      And the Protestant book The Shack is on my to-read list. Actually, life on earth is a preparation for Heaven, where you grow and develop in the faith, and in love for others. We love our family and friends. We miss them when they go. Same with my grandparents. I have friends and family who love me. The others on this site lead similar lives. I hope that whoever participates in this can do so knowing that The Lord is watching… I personally stand by the no dating rule. But the bottom tier is sin, plain and simple. We are to be pure to honor The Lord with our abstinence.

      We are called to be set apart, and having oral sex before marriage is a way of the world. I just want to see my brothers and sisters in Christ striving to be the greatest in God that they can be. I love God so much, am not a virgin but I decided to focus on my relationship with God and live the life HE wanted for me and as a result, I abstained from sex for like a year.. Category 3 is extremely dangerous. Well, not long after my new found Christian lifestyle, I started dating another Christian who was a vigin and abstinent.

      The sexual aspect of our relationship progressed extremely slowly; but after the first year we found ourselves in category 3. While certain times we were tempted by intercourse, we never gave in because we valued our relationship and the possibility of a future together. Doubting his faith and his dedication to God, he felt that abstinence was no longer for him because of the sense of entitlement it gave him.

      My faith is still strong but not as strong as I would like it and unfortunately After a month of discerning about our relationship we slept with one another. The point of this comment is really to say that you can stay in a long term relationship in category 3 and it can be healthy and semi godly but you must maintain a strong faith life, not only personally but within the relationship as well. You got to choose the path for yourself.

      Abstaining or giving up some habbits or bloking natures way i. The tendency to mate and reproduce in this case, will create big ripples initially but will calm down only if you have faith in god, if not god then at least in your own self. Yes you will start to develop your sixth sense, for example knowing things before they happen etc etc. But all your life you will not be satisfied by any life partner , reason being he or she might not be st the same mental levell, or he or she has never gone through same Tapasya.

      If you relly want to stary a family then stop demanding and get married. I learned alot from this site as well as from the comments So I neither confirm it or deny it to others as nobody asks because this is when things really get controversial, seem unrealistic or a lie and this might not be posted but we have managed to sleep in the same bed for almost two years while I have been continuing to keep my promise of waiting till marriage.

      We plan to marry when he finishes school. All of the perspectives on here are very interesting and people have raised really good insights and advice. I love that this article split it into categories and while I thin there could be more categories those three are a very good overview. I personally think that the first category is admirable, but can have more disadvantages than are written about.

      Category two seems more sustainable in our society and is great. I, however, fall into Category 3 and very much disagree with a lot of things people are saying. If anything deciding for myself how far I wanted to go and then praying about it and reading my bible has made me so much closer to God. Yes, of course, sometimes I feel temped to have sex or conflicted but I can have the full sense of release without feeling bad about myself. It relaxes tension in your body, can make you more relaxed, releases negative fluids in your body, etc.

      When I get married I will know that I waited until marriage to fully give myself to my husband and while many of you may not think that waiting to have sex is any different than oral it still is. I will be with my husband in a way that I have been with no man before and it will be very special. This will come without me feeling bad about if I cross some imaginary line that I have drawn up for myself.

      After all, all God wants is for us to be happy, worship him, and know that he is our creator! I am 23 and i was on level 1 until 5 months ago when i got in a relationship and I moved onto level 2 a month ago. Level 3 is not abstaining in my own point of view. Honestly after my first kiss i felt like i had sinned and even upto now I do feel that kissing isnt right. I find that the main issues raised previously are about physical purity. I think its also important to consider purity in the other aspects of life.

      For example its important that if you choose level 1 or 2 that you do not sin in your mind or watch anything that might stimulate you into doing sexual things. We love each other very much and are very passionate for each other. She is very religious and does want to wait till marriage. But, as I said, we are very emotionally and physically compatible and this has led to many passionate physical encounters.

      We plan on marriage, we fantasize about it, but, being so young, it could be 5 or 6 years before it is an option. Does anyone have any advice on how to keep a long and passionate relationship without going too far physically? But I still want to wait for the actual sex. But the pressure is getting more.

      I am definitely in category 3, I have always told myself I would wait till marriage before having sex. Now we are having oral sex and he fingers me two fingers He usually asks for sex but I still refuse him. I just want to save that part for marriage. I want to be proud of myself and I also want God to be proud of me. But the pressure for sex is getting higher. Please feel free to give your advice. After our first kiss I did tell him WTM. I do like him but still want to protect myself from a broken heart and diseases.

      I am pretty sure that I will be fine without such intimacy like in category 3. I guess as long as we are comfortable and both of us are strong willed maybe some clothes-on action. Someone of whom I am comfortable just talking to and having fun and can understand each well would be just fine. Level 3 is a trap. Even engagements are not set in stone, they can be broken a few weeks before the wedding so a word to the wise: After reading the site and most of the comments I feel inclined to share my thoughts. I am 21, still a virgin, and can say that level 3 is the biggest trap ever!!!

      Myself, now single, am living a 1. May God give us all strength in wherever we are in life, peace and God bless. I was touching her chest a lot the other day. If the reason behind premarital sex being a sin has to do with the possibility of conceiving a child, then it seems like category 3 is an acceptable rule. But I think dating and some level of physical intimacy is necessary before marriage because you want to find a partner whom you truly love so that you will not end up with the sin of divorce.

      Any sense of sexuality is completely cut out of the relationship. Feel totally undesired and unloved. Level three is really dangerous and suicidal. I always feel guilty and ashamed of myself after kissing and cuddling each other. I hope God forgives me and also gives me strength to over come temptations. I detest sex before marriage right from my young life. I value my body more anything-My body belong to my wife only and no other woman will be able to see my nakedness. I belong to category one and yet am not lonely at all….. I mean, I am kind of feeling awkward telling him about this.

      Your virginity is precious, you only lose it once, I lost it against my will, I thank God I was able to forgive him, but t did not stop me from doing it again and again because of the pressure of my boyfriend. Until I made the decision, no more sex before marriage.

      Sliping into category 3 IS. Do you know how much can happen in 2 months????? You can broke up, and not marry each other, that intimacy make you feel like he is the one, my advice is: He needs to respect your decision. Only stage 1 and 2 are acceptable versions of waiting till marriage. Any type of sex is sex. Being lukewarm in your values is a bad start to a marriage. Intimate relationship before marriage is not good, when young people engages on sexual relationships their academic performances decline and their value reduces from diamond to rock i.

      Well, being a womanizer is not a nice thing to be. Perhaps other women see that in you. Well I was sexuall active for about two years I needed that kind of affection it was some part of low self esteem and wanting to feel loved kinda thing. I am not against dating and holding hands, hugging etc.. I fear putting myself in a compromising situation and either come off as too formal and stiff or nervous and boring. I really need to be in a situation where I feel safe being affectionate but I scare men off before we ever even get to know each other.

      It just seems like a catch And sometimes, I get horny. I would also masterbate.

      The 3 Levels of Sexual Abstinence | ycigigegic.tk

      But then I met this boy. He was cute and nice and fun. Idk if he likes me but he knows I like him. I just need advice on how to not end up as a pregnant teen. Different beliefs…wow m learning so much on how to abstain cause i rilli want to wait till marriage but i was thinking it not possible…please how can one tell her boyfriend she wants no sex without looking immature? I believe category 1…is the right choice.

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      I mean everyone have their own ambitions so, leaving your goals for just sexual relations is a total waste of time.. It soothing to have someone in your life, whom you can hold hand with, talk to and even spend some time away with. Building friendship with someone helps you understand them better and thus when you engage in relationship. You will have knowing each other better… YES sooth it is Not all of us will get married hence if you not in the list of people who will get married, then find what your God given gift is…other than forcing your self into a tiny space….

      Who ever reads this comment be warned that God clearly forbbids sex before marriage. The act of any type of physical contact before marriage is a sin that goes by the name of fornication that includes kissing oral sex and even masterbation wheather mutual of self. I have suffered for months now since I stopped masterbating and begain my chasity. The Bible tells us in Hebrews Every other sin that is commuted outside the body but the sexually immoral person inside the body.

      Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit with whom you have with God? So Glorify God in your body. Be careful when you read these sites on the internet because you could easily be decived and lose the eternal life that God promises you for something as small as sex. Level one seems crazy to me. God lets serial killers and psychopath walk around unchecked. While my faith in God is strong I believe you need to meet him half way. If you just sit there and wait for God to save you from every problem in your life you are fooling yourself.

      Be confident in you. God made you and wants you to happy. But hand outs are not his style. I thought it was disgusting, smelly and messy it turned my stomach. Level 3 is fornication is damnable and will likely Result in a broken or a marriage as a full on sexual Relationship No one is talking about level 0 life long abstinence If you want a guarantee of the kingdom and a guarantee of No heart break and no loss of relationship with God take that road.

      Premarital sex is unforgivable here on earth including Kissing masturbation porn anything It will follow you destroy and real love you find It will curse you at work and at home It will keep you from reaching your full potential It will most likely keep you from heaven unless you spend the rest Of your life literally weeping blood begging for forgiveness But there will be no mercy or peace for you on earth God will look on you like a rotten thing And if you make it to heaven it will be just barely and You will be called the least there.

      Marriage for purpose of evangelism is allowed but is Second class Go for gold go to a monastic order or convent Or stay celibate Live as if you are in heaven Moderate your food sell your clothes and goods Become homeless and hated here on earth That you may be great in world to come. I believe that our body is the temple of the holy spirit.

      Also the God we serve is a jealous God and he will not share his temple with the spirit of sexual activity. Courtship is allowed i. I always fear to write on these things, for fear of judgement and persecution from others who may be reading. However, I know that not everyone is like that, we are all human and should be able to share our experiences and thoughts without condemnation from others — as long as not hurting anyone.

      I really enjoyed this article, and am thankful for the information you provided. When I was younger, I went down a path that was not right for me personally and for my faith — and I had a very strong faith. Somewhere along the lines, that faith got lost and at that time I did not have anyone to help lead me back on the right path. I did not know at that time that you could go to your spiritual leader or anyone else for help.

      And so, I went down a path that was beyond the level 3 stage. It took me a very, very long time to get back to my faith, especially on my own; although, now I realize that there was always someone Him on my side, helping to guide me back, but my eyes and heart had to be opened again. I am so, so grateful to that faith, to Him and to an incredible spiritual leader I met for helping me realize my faith again fully. This is all to say, I was able to find a relationship again with God; a very meaningful one.

      I know I am forgiven, and have been now for several years am abstinent. This is very very important to me in my life, and important part of my faith. I am reconnected and so happy to be in stage 1. This is the way it was always meant to be and most natural for me from the beginning, something I know deep in my heart. It is not for everyone, and it can cut you off from people outside your own faith circle. I was so in love with him and imagined the rest of my life with him. The one time wrongly assumed I wanted to have sex. And we tried it.

      I asked the doctor to examine me and thank God my hymen was in tact. The doctor knew why I was so emotional and insisted on the test. I vowed never to lose my values again. I considered myself a born again virgin. And setting strict boundaries and keeping it in the kissing zone has helped me to heal, to move on, to focus on self development and my relationship with God. Waiting is worth the while.

      God just showed me what an irreversible mistake can cause on your physiological, personal and spiritual growth. The problem is we expect it to be easy. You need to work towards it. Maintain healthy friendships with members of the opposite sex. If you notice you particularly like someone then make the extra effort to set up boundaries with them. The key is being conscious and setting up boundaries. Most of my first dates have been coffee only. The first date is a job application. The second date is THE interview. We have a 4 year old.

      We both came back to Christ last year and well I feel like we should not have sex anymore until marriage. No point in getting into why. This is hard and frustrating and draining. We both just want to get married right away but it is not an option right now… We may be waiting another year or so before we can. Thank you for the valuable insight. Since my current boyfriend is not someone I see myself marrying, should I just break up with him in order to honour my values? I am waiting because of my love for God. He is good and I am grateful to obey.

      My boyfriend is waiting for me. We have a wonderful time together and love each other very much. We went a little further one night not ATW , and I felt convicted. No sense in feeling guilty, God has forgiven me and we are back to taking precautions. Things like Not being alone for too long, no heavy kissing, avoiding triggers at all costs. When I spend time with him, I do not focus on his body but rather listen to what he says and get to know him more.

      I gotta say, prayer is the number one thing and also, it helps to have a friend or two who is also waiting. I have faith that whatever I am waiting for will be worth it, and I mean more than physically. What God makes is everlasting. I am level 1. So nice to know that there are other people out there like me. I am a 25 year old male who is waiting on God to find a woman for me. It is extremely important to me to be faithful to my future spouse. Being a Christian is hard in this day and age, because of our highly sexualized culture.

      Virgins in Guyland

      Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians to honor God with our bodies, because we were bought at a price 1 Cor. And in 1 Thessalonians he says to avoid sexual immorality and we should learn to control our bodies in a way that is holy and honorable [to God] Thess. The best way to do this is to have as few relationships as possible in dating of course dating Christians with the same beliefs.

      Which would make less chance for temptation. It is hard to have hope when I have been single my whole life, but life is too short to worry about relationship status, because God has a purpose for each one of us. May we have all our hope in our Father who has created us and who will never forsake us or leave us. Live life as Jesus teaches us because he is coming back soon.