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Out of the gay men surveyed, a staggering 71 per cent said that they had been actively turned off by a prospective partner because they had shown signs of femininity. For years I was so ashamed of my own feminine qualities, that when on dates I would say very little or speak quietly because I was worried my voice would give me away. Even now, I find myself trying and failing to butch myself up when surrounded by extended family members, or straight men I am unfamiliar with. But the effect of constantly being fed the message that femme equals bad is hard to ignore.

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