Girl im dating still talks to ex
She has told me that she doesnt feel the same way about him as she used to.
Dating new girl, but she still talks/sees her ex. - ycigigegic.tk Forums
She also often tells me that she has to be civil with him because he is the brother of one of her rather distant friends. I feel very insecure about this because of the time apart we had. When we were apart she was hanging out with someone she used to have feelings for. Plus now that we are trying to fix things I feel like he is a distraction that we both really dont need.
Also she said she would stop talking to him but hasnt and that makes me nervous and a little upset. What should I do? I really just want him out of the picture to be honest. I dont want to tell her what to do though. TL;DR My girlfriend is talking to her ex, despite telling me she would stop, and its making me upset and paranoid. I think we are all different when it comes to this. I encourage my gf to talk to her exes where she wants to maintain friendships. Some of my close friends are exes, that's just how the relationship evolved.
I believe in trust and honesty, so I only ask that if she ever had feelings for one she have the courtesy to end things before cheating. I know however, that my perspective is not universal and many have the same issues you do with maintaining those friendships. All you can do is talk about it and hope for compromise. Lack of trust though, including checking her phone, is likely not the best way to go unless there is some truly damning evidence there and a regular conversation is not that.
Same goes for my wife. She has a guy friend that she tried dating years ago, and they were just better off friends.
This is very difficult, certain people keep lines of communication open with ex's I personally do not and think it impedes moving on but if this is a deal breaker for you and you brought it up and things are not changing you may have to make a tough call. I personally think if you really trust them it is fine but I can see why it would bother you. When i broke up with my ex which also really amicable , we both agree to stop texting and start distancing from each other because it would have been unfair to our futures SO's.
It causes a barrier between you and your SO when the person you're most confortable with, is someone else. Thats exactly what I feel her ex is becoming, a distraction. We have a long road ahead of us trying to repair things and someone else is going to make that far more difficult.
It's not really fair to blame her for spending time with her ex while you two were apart. Maybe you don't feel this way, I just wanted to clarify. Some people might see asking her to not talk to an ex as a bit much, but I think it's reasonably common as well.
She's not completely over her ex, should I still pursue her?
The biggest issue I think is that she agreed, and possibly immediately broke that agreement. She has the right to speak to her ex if she wants, but you have the right to decide what level of faithfulness your comfortable with. If she agrees to match it then she can't just go back on it. Having said that, receiving a message isn't the same as having a conversation. Maybe she didn't think it was necessary to block him. This is largely just about trust. If she says she won't talk to him, but you don't trust her not to, then you need to work it out.
It's not just on her either. You both need to work to be trustworthy, and you both need to work to trust. Its not that I blame her for hanging out with him I hope it didnt come across that way.
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It just worries me. We are trying to fix this and if someone else comes in the way of that then it will be very upsetting for me. People do what they do for a reason. She hung out with him for a reason. Alternatively, he is talking to her for a reason. I just hope those arent reasons that will make this more complicated.
What it boils down to is im scared she still has feelings for him. I dont know how to think otherwise she tells me she doesnt but I just have a bad feeling in my gut. You shouldn't think that you're controlling.
Dating new girl, but she still talks/sees her ex.
You have every reason to be upset. I know I would be if I were in your shoes. This is honestly a boundary that you should've established in the beginning of your relationship. It doesn't mean it's too late to talk about it. Her ex is someone that she used to be entangled emotionally and intimate with. Chatting with him on a regular basis, the way I see it, is disrespectful to the relationship she has with you. If she hooked up with him while you guys were apart, you should end it. Yes, some people here will say "but you guys were technically apart so it's her right". But a relationship is not built and held together by technicalities.
It's her right to do whatever she pleases, but it's your own right to establish your boundaries and the consequences of breaking them. If you guys saw the two month break as a way to repair your relationship, then what does it tell you what she feels about it by hooking up with her ex. Results 1 to 30 of It's a little long but go to cliffs if you don't want to read. Alright so I've been dating this girl for a lil over a week now. I really like her, shes awesome. I'm in the Airforce, so I stay in the dorms as well as her.
She's been staying over in my room for the past like 5 days. I know she really likes me and I know she isn't a slut or anything Since she got stationed here she was dating a guy for a while but they broke up like a month or 2 ago or so. Anyway, last night for instance, we went out to a japanese diner, then went to my brothers house.
At my bro's they were chatting back n forth and it was obvious she didnt want me seeing the text. So as we're heading back to the dorms, she says she has to go help her ex with some studying for a test 'tomorrow'.
So we're about to go to sleep and I confronted her about it.. I said 'dont take this the wrong way but, are you still seeing your ex in any way? I said "well I'm curious cause I don't want to be wasting my time, you guys text eachother a lot and it seems as though something is up. It's bothering the sht outta me. I really like this chick and I know she really likes me, but when im spending time with her and I hear his text tone going off from texting her, it pisses me off.
He broke up with her a while ago. Never Getting Married, Crew. I wouldn't say you have to back out If that's coming from someone else New website BROvotional swolybible. I wouldnt feel comftorable with that. This girl has some heavy baggage. Originally Posted by LostOne It's definitely a red flag IMO. Take heed now, or suffer the consequences later. Originally Posted by bdaswat. Hell no man I'd get out to be honest. She's probably trying to get him back. Got frustrated trying to figure out what "eating clean" even means, so I just had a burrito.
Thanks for the replies guys.. I'm going to confront her again today and see what the hell is going on with her and her ex.. Originally Posted by Roasted. Proceed with this girl but don't get too emotionally invested too quick because you should know that this could BLOW up any minute.
Take it slow and if in months from now she is still secretive about her communication with her ex than demand an explanation or just end it. Originally Posted by shaftoe. I'm not going to wait that long. Thats a waste of time man. I mean you're right about everything else though But over all we are already pretty open with eachother, so Im gonna confront her again about it later this evening and see what is said.
When I learned about her still being friends with her ex today she told me online , I basically said - I'm not gonna control you, who you are friends with, whatever..
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I don't want you to even change for me, I just dont wanna hear about it. I even said - view me as insecure, doesn't bother me, just letting you know how I feel and what I view as inappropriate. She told me she was very surprised by my reaction but I am more important to her than the ex mmmhmm and she'll act accordingly mmmhmm.. What do you guys think about this approach.. Yeah I know the alpha-stud thing to do is not give a fuck - I'm the one banging her now - but I do give a fuck and don't give a fuck about being judged for voicing my opinion.
I have high value, I know what I want and I think I'm entitled to lay it out there and establish what boundaries I'll tolerate.
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Join Date Aug Gender: How often does she keep in contact with him? Is she just talking to him or is she meeting up with him as well? Are you reading Fader's Articles? Join Date May Gender: Location Chicago Age 40 Posts Well let's just hope you don't come off as insecure to her. Maybe she was "suprised" that it would bother you so much and thought you had high enough self-esteem to be indifferent to her communication with her ex. Ok let's be honest here.