How to know if you are dating a douchebag

This guy is going to do tons of nice things for you. He's going to remember your favorite kind of wine and buy it for you. He's going to order your favorite take-out when you've had a horrible day and watch whatever you want on Netflix because he just cares about spending time with you and you could literally watch or do anything. He's not looking for anything in return and he doesn't have a weird ulterior motive.

He just likes you. If you've had really bad experiences in love and dating, then you might think that this is all a prank by the universe or something. It just won't feel real. But this guy is totally real and he's treating you exactly the way that you deserve to be treated.

You should definitely enjoy it. No matter how much it sucks to think that you're not the only one in his eyes, that's honestly what could be happening. Sure, you're devastated to learn that because you're totally into him. You're in it percent. Unfortunately, that's not the way that he sees you. You can be totally sure that a guy is a player if he never talks about the future in a legit way. Is he always super vague about what he's doing, whether you're asking about his plans Saturday night or if he's going on vacation next summer? That's definitely not a great sign. He wants to make sure you know that you're not in his future.

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A guy who is totally the real deal will always tell you how he feels. If he's having a good time on the first date, he's going to tell you. If he wants to see you again a second time, he's going to tell you. If he's having fun and wants to keep dating you, ditto. You will never have to wonder if he likes you or not and you'll never think that it's all in your head. This isn't the kind of guy who is going to play you hot and cold. He's definitely not the kind of guy who is going to make you text your girlfriends, asking them what he means or how he feels about you.

Doesn't that sound so refreshing?! You'll totally be happy with this guy. It's not crazy to want the guy that you're dating to think that you're the coolest person ever and to compliment you left and right. Okay, so compliments can get excessive and it's not like your self-esteem rests on what he thinks about you, but you're not wrong for wanting him to treat you really well. A playboy is going to make fun of you for liking certain things.

A player won't get who you are as a person. He might seem confused when you tell stories from your past or talk about your life right now. Is that really the person that you see yourself with? Talk about a rhetorical question Your friends are easy to make plans with, right? Well, except for that one girl, but You've been friends since forever and you totally get that she's kind of hard to make plans with sometimes.

But other than her, you wouldn't stay friends with someone who never wanted to hang out with you and never made proper plans.


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It's totally the same thing with dating. If you're dating a real deal guy, he's going to be great at making plans and it's going to be seriously easy. Whether you chat about the next time you're going to see each other in person or via text message, you're going to make plans quickly and simply and that will be that. You won't have to worry about whether or not he actually wants to see you or anything like that.

Players hate making plans.

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They think that the future is a stupid construct and that being organized is a waste of time. Just try making plans with a player. If you ask when he's free to see you next, he'll say something vague like "Maybe this weekend" or "I don't know, I'll tell you later. You might think that once you two get more serious, he's going to treat you better and start making you a big part of his life. Sorry but if you're wishing for that, you're going to get super hurt.

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Your dad passed away like 5 months ago. I am not trying to bring you down with that sort of story.

I try to make people happy. In what reality do you live in that obtaining a grad degree is considered being a douche? Are you a gold digger? Yeah, I am also not a fan of the peter pans. While one may not be where they want to be yet, they should at least have started in some way rather than being all talk. However, I rarely meet that type of peter pan. I tend to met people with careers who are not capable of having relationships or have a child like idea of what relationships are.

However, I also tend to talk above other people and not notice it. I spend most of my time surrounded by classmates who think and speak at a high level, and so dumbing it down is not something I think of regularly. Wow, amazing and yet I have run into people something like this.


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  • 37 Comments?
  • I think his comments were about his deep insecurities rather than about me. He was looking for someone he could be better than rather than an equal to. Some men, including gay ones, can not accept a relationship of equals or mostly equals since total equality in a relationship at all times is impossible.

    I went on dates with this latino who it turns out was cheating on his bf with me. Ooh, I forgot two good, true douche, ex BF stories: Um, before you met him. I have one to add to it. The drama queen that will ALWAYS make a HUGE deal out of fucking up, just so that he can sit down and do some huge dramatic gester like write out every lyric to some love song on paper and then leave it scattered around the house for you to find. This was after a simple missed lunch….. Douche would be playing the phone tag game. This happened with a friend.

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    I told her to dump the guy because he was a push-pull type. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. A website by Thought. Choosing to run, hide, deny and ignore instead of communicate respectfully and effectively is cowardly at best and often douchey.

    Shirtless photo-in-the-mirror profile pics? Oompa-loompa orange tan with frosted lips, fake nails and tramp stamp? How old are we? Ladies, this is not someone you want to spend time with. What dude wants to share that? Everyone has their phone with them Or they have a relationship. It must be because they have so much in common.