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I think I am being scammed from someone who I met on a local dating site. Said he lived about 30 minutes away. He also wants to chat on yahoo messenger. He hasn't asked for money yet. I almost want to toy with him but it wouldn't be fair to him. So does't really answer questions I ask him about that area. Thought I would share. Hi, Marion - I sure relate to what your mom is experiencing. There are some organized scam operations on most dating sites, and they're getting better every year at sounding normal and honest. I'll send up some prayers for your mother to spot the bad apples and to find the jewels who are out there.
I love how you approached this from both sides to equip and protect as many people as possible. My Mom just entered the dating field after being divorced from her 25 year marriage and she's been complaining a lot about scams she's running into. From what she hears from friends, who were scammed with rebound marriages, she's also going to insist on a prenup if she marries again.
Scary online dating world out there. Hope I can keep my marriage together so I don't find myself in it. Tattuwrun - you came so close to getting scammed! Thank you, so much, for posting this first-person account of how these guys operate. This is exactly the type of con artist this article discusses, and having a 'real life' example is so helpful. I'm so, so glad you recognized what was going on before it hurt you - either financially or emotionally.
I remember having "dated" someone I never even met yet -- and gladly I didn't. While managing my account at a social media site, I received a private message from a guy and introduced himself. I looked at his profile pic -- the guy looked ruggedly handsome, at least on that photo. And after that he would send me more PM's, and his words were becoming more romantic, flowery and passionate.
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He said he would satisfy my needs sexually, emotionally and financially -- and that he's living a comfortable life, does travelling as a hobby. He even recounted his past "tragedies" such as how his parents died in an accident that left him as an orphan, you know, those kind of sob stories. He would call me up almost every morning. I wasn't quite falling for him yet but I found him charming. He said he would be ready to fly very soon to my country and visit me.
He even said he was going to marry me, and buy a ring for me. I just went with the flow, though I was starting to like him very much I just had to see how it would go. Until one time he PM'd me. He said he was in "Africa" for a "stopover", but he added that he was detained because he lacked certain documents in order for to get himself bailed.
And you know what? He said the authorities also needed money, and he said he didn't have anymore to pay them. So he was asking me for money, I said I didn't have much of that to save him. He insisted that I ask my friends and officemates for money -- even a check or a voucher, etc. He was more persistent in sending me mails about the "bail money".
All the romantic talk faded. At first I was genuinely worried about his so-called suffering. Hey, wait a minute I realized that this guy was about to con me. So I replied to his offline messages and started taunting at him for days. He didn't reply to my messages and never bothered me again. I'm also glad you publish this hub, so that people will never be victims of this scam. Voted up and useful. Hi, AmandaJon - it's great to hear a success story! Naturally, many of us know of happy couples who met online and later married.
It's the con artists who make things difficult for people, though, which is what is being addressed here. Thanks for dropping by and commenting!
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Great hub, very useful tips! This is so sad that people manipulate other people's emotions to get money from them, this is outrageous! But I have met my husband online 5 years ago, we still together and very happy. So for joining a dating site was one othe the best decisions in my life. Don't let those con artist stop you from finding a date online, be careful and keep looking, Good luck!
Wow - thanks for sharing this real-life experience - and good job in spotting the signs before you got defrauded. How I wish these people would be caught and prosecuted. I have just become a victim of this, however, i realise that things weren't right when he claimed his 6 year old son had been hit by a motorcycle and was in hospital with injuries he couldn't pay for. I strung him along for the rest of the time.
Even told him i was on the next flight with money to help.
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Eventually, i fronted him about it and first he denied it, then admitted it. I was actually trying to get details from him about who the guy he was posing as, who the pictures were of, have tried various sites to reverse search the pics myself and cannot find him, only one site in oregon might have one pic. Lessons learnt, this site is very accurate.
He was a man with a business working abroad, with a 6 year old son, claiming to live in London, when he was running everything from Nigeria. Hi, Dancingpopes - thanks for your very informative comment here. I think many women and some men would like a place where they could 'blacklist' the bad apples. It's very true that being scammed out of your emotions is a painful experience - and it takes a long time to recover.
If we could figure out what makes some people approach relationships with dishonestly, we would get rich! I wish a site could be created listing the names of men and women from these sites like POF and MATCH who claim they want a relationship and tell you how great you are, etc, but JUST want sex, or tell you how great you are, meet you, and pretend to like you because they think you have money, only to find out you don't and suddenly they're gone. That would border on slander, I'm sure, and some people would list names out of spite, but wouldn't it be great in a perfect world if there could be a list of these people to check.
I've never been scammed out of money, I've been scammed of my feelings. Why must they go through the bulls of telling you how wonderful you are, what great chemistry you have, and what a great team you'd make? I'm so sorry you went through that, Jan - I know of others who have been conned, and it hurts on so many levels.
How I wish there were easier ways to spot these jerks.
Good information, I wish I had read this before I gave my money to a con artist. He had my heart now I'm hurt and not trusting. He talked to me for hours months m Im and phone lie after lie protect yourself. I no longer will use dating sites. Hi, Graham - thanks for your kind words of support! It's very sad to see the increasing instances of dating scams every year. Many of them are cottage industries in Third-World countries where groups of people troll websites dating or otherwise and send enticing messages.
I guess the odds work in their favor, when they generate thousands of contacts but finally get big money when they pull someone into their net. Congratulations on this wonderful hub. It is so informative and helpful. I don't need the services of these websites but a person who might, would do so well to read and absorb your efforts.
Hi, HubbinNubbin - I don't personally have info on foreign sites - but I do know there are plenty of scammers who use sites based in the US but they live in other countries. This might be a good topic for either the Answers section on this site, or the Forum. Good luck - and be careful! As my German is still much desired for, it has been a long journey for me to decide what is real and what is not. I was wondering if you guys have any tips in recognizing foreign online dating page scams?
Like the technicalities, without having to know the language well? Example of one of the pages I have found: I am just starting out as a blogger by the way, if you guys have any tips or advice, contact me - I am always looking for new friends: Hi, Becky - that's a really great question - the only thing I can figure is that they find photos online, or scan good-quality magazine shots and use those.
I've seen photos that were definitely part of a male model's portfolio. They will stoop to anything to get someone's attention and hook them in. Hi, Stephen - that is so true; those sites are money-makers. Now I am hearing of people trying to scam others on this site by contacting them personally about relationships or money. And, I just got a message from a stranger on LinkedIn that sounded all too fishy. Dating sites are actually all over the net. Individuals must not be too desperate to find a date.
Tips mentioned in your hub are a great help! Thanks for sharing it for everyone's benefit. I agree, MsKrysma - the hurts from these predators last for years. It is the worst form of deception. Thanks so much for reading and commenting - I look forward to your hubs! It's sad and very wrong for con artists to hurt others who are just looking for love. I hope people recongnize the signs that someone is not right for them beofre they do get hurt.
All's good here, sweet Marcy -- and we totally agree -- the con artists are not only another breed they're downright scary. Hi, Sis - it's good to see you!
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Thanks for reading and commenting here. I've been on a few sites, too, which is how I was able to research this hub. There are indeed people of both genders looking for money and a caretaker they generally want marriage, in order to get the caretaker benefits. The con artists are yet another breed - they're only out to scam people, right from the start. Either way, it's discouraging to sift through all that in the hopes of finding the diamond amongst the lumps of coal.
Great work and research,Marcy. I tried a couple of dating sites years ago just for fun. Found there's a lot of guys looking for women my age -- they need a nurse or a purse and I wasn't available for either. Hi, Alocsin - what a great tip about identifying photos! You always have the best information about the ins and outs of Internet use - thanks for sharing this! I think in matters of the heart, people aren't so wary as they should be.
These tips should be very helpful. As for the fake photo, if you drag a photo from a website into Google Images, it'll will show you where the photo is from. Voting this Up and Useful. Thanks so much for your comment here, adjkp - I'm glad you never had to be exposed to this type of thing. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I'm so thankful that I met my wife young and didn't go the online dating route.
I have heard about people falsifying their profiles but, after reading this, there is so much more for people to be aware of. Thanks for your comment here, Margie - and I am so sorry your girlfriend has run into those issues. It is disheartening to see what happens in the name of dating. Thanks for reading and sharing! I'm so glad I'm not dating anymore. However, I have a ton of girlfriends who are. One was a physical threat and the other stole her money. Hi, Allie - it's so sad to hear of the people who've been hurt through these dishonest schemers.
I know there are decent people on those sites, too, but people need to be aware of the not-so-good users as well. I'm glad you've put this information together. Like others who have commented, I have heard so many horror stories about this. The unfortunate thing about online dating is that people can represent themselves in any way they choose so you really don't know for sure what you're getting with these.
Oooh - that is creepy, to get contacted on this site. I had an odd message early on from someone asking me for personal help, but not the 'Hi, you're cute' stuff. I hope you reported this to the moderators? The person probably contacted several Hubbers. These con artists hit up anywhere they can get messages to people. Hi, its funny that you should mention the 'divorced with a son' thing.
I actually received an email the other day from a new 'hubbber' he hasn't written anything yet, who said, 'I think you are cute, can you email me? I am divorced with a son and so on! I felt like writing back and saying, this isn't a dating site, but I didn't want him to know my email. I would never trust these sites, I have heard to many horror stories. I have watched programs on tv about women who give out thousands of pounds so that the guy can come over to the uk, or meet them abroad, and they never find them again after losing all that money.
I feel like shaking them for their stupidity! Hi, Kittyjj - I truly hope you never need these, too! And I hope, if they need them, the information here helps your friends avoid these con artists! Excellent tips on online dating. Hopefull I won't be needing it though. But I am happy to share them with my friends who I think might be interested. Hi, drbj - I'm so glad you like the hub and the movie - which I love, by the way! Wow - what a story, Aviannovice! You should write about that experience - I'm so glad you gave that example here. The con artists are experts; they know what will work how to get the money , and will quickly move on if they can't get cooperation.
I met one woman who paid a guy's way to the USA, with the plan they would marry. He didn't even had standing in the church. The emotional recovery is so traumatic for people who have been conned. And then of course they've been damaged financially, too. Thank you for sharing this! You are so smart to have figured it out before you were taken advantage of. Very realistic cautions, Marcy, for those who wish to utilize online dating sites. Thanks for the 'Scoundrels' clip - I had forgotten how funny that movie really was. The profiles are good, because they belonged to someone else that got turned off by the dating site because there was a scammer.
The scammer already had their info, so voila! I ran into a couple of those losers. One dumb enough to send "form" letters with all the misspellings, and one that forgot who he was and sent the same letter under another name. They are generally tied to western Africa, like Ghana or Nigeria. Mine claimed to be half Cuban and half Nigerian, living in CA. By the way, they didn't get a nickel from me, though the attempt was made. Claimed mom was in the hospital in Nigeria and the US check wouldn't be accepted as it had to clear.
I knew what was going to happen and I offered my Visa, but the hospital had to contact me. I was flatly refused and told it had to be Western Union or nothing. So I said, okay,nothing it is. And that was the end of that. Thanks for all your research, a quality I have come to expect and enjoy in your hubs. Hi, Karthikkash - I did some research on this a few years ago, and the scams were really easy to spot. Now, that's not the case. They've gotten expert at writing good profiles and they know photos are important. So people need to scrutinize the package, and then watch behaviors carefully.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Hi, Prasetio - your friend is right to alert you to the risks. There are some great and worthy people on the sites, but since those sites are one of the main venues for predators, it's important to take care. Thanks for commenting here! Actually I really interested with online dating, but my friend said that I must be careful with kind of dating site.
There are many scams out there. I started with free online dating site,but it's more bad. Though we can find legitimate company which provide truly information for the member of their site. Thanks for share with us. Marcy, I learn many things here. Rated up and useful! I've been on dating sites on and off and thought I was decent enough in spotting scamsters. But this hub made me think twice.
Spark a great conversation and get to know someone. However, that leads me to point out one big flaw the site has, approving obviously bogus profiles. When you make a profile you have to wait for it to be approved making sure it follows the sites terms, however, a substantial amount of profiles breaking just about every rule in their TOS flood the site regularly.
It has crashed a couple times and occasionally runs slow, but those are more or less minor inconveniences. In general I have to say the app and the site are great. I've met some really awesome guys, a few turned out to be great friends, a few I've dated exclusively. The app is super user friendly with no apparent glitches. Unfortunately, as with most things, there are the bad apples that spoil the whole basket for us.
They are easily recognizable. Chemistry is the name of the game here, and the multiple questionnaires are no joke. This isn't a quick five-second set up like other apps, but that's only because Plenty of Fish truly wants you to dig deep so that they can give you the best quality matches. Not only does POF attempt to match you with people who you'll statistically get along with based on how you've both answered questions , but it also wants to match you with people who are looking for the same thing as you.
In the "meeting goals" section, you'll specify whether you're looking for something long term, looking to date but nothing serious, etc. The idea is to eliminate the awkward "What are we" conversations and set you up for success by pairing you with people who share your priorities. It feels like the site is geared toward people who have been unlucky with love in the past, which offers a sliver of hope to those who claim to be "forever alone. The desktop version's setup is possibly the most boring, thrown-together-at-the-last-minute looking thing I've ever seen.
Hey, maybe they're just putting all of their focus on the matchmaking. Since the profile building takes some time, we'd suggest answering all of the questions on a desktop, but doing the actual swiping and matching on the app. POF is also not bisexual friendly, which definitely sucks. A site with the M. If a site's janky aesthetics don't bother you, POF offers the largest variety of potential mates of all the apps on this list. Regardless of whether you're super picky with your type or have no idea what you want, there's pretty much no way you won't find a few people out of 90 million who you find interesting.
Hinge Hinge offers dating features that no other app has. Hinge gives the modern feel and no-patience-required matching like Tinder, but with the relationship rather than hookup mindset that sites like eharmony or Match offer. Pretty much everyone is on the same page and knows that that this app isn't for sex, but there's no pressure to rush into marriage either.
It's chill, it's legit, and traditional swiping apps should be worried. Hinge is the place for people who want a real relationship but don't want to commit to a full-fledged dating site with extensive questionnaires. Hinge literally labels itself the relationship app, or as I prefer, the "anti Tinder. While Hinge first started by showing you Facebook friends of friends, their algorithm has been getting smarter and smarter, and is now able to surpass friends of friends as a predictor of compatibility.
This means you won't be matched with someone all wrong for you simply because you know the same person. Rather, Hinge will help you get to know the other person more deeply than any new app has attempted, by revealing answers to juicy personality questions and detailed information like future plans, religion, and vices. Seems like a pretty good recipe for a strong connection past looks, right? Hinge only gives you seven matches per day, which is a slight bummer.
There's a wide range of people on this app, and having a day where all seven don't interest you is a definite possibility. But Hinge isn't meant for constant swiping — and everyone I know who uses Hinge including myself hasn't ever felt the need to upgrade past the free version. It's a step up from hookup apps but the perfect level of serious for 20 and 30 somethings who want something real, but don't need anyone asking how many kids they want just yet.
Tinder Tinder is where everyone is, and the setup is easy. Free, with optional upgrades See Details. We'd look like total frauds if we didn't include Tinder. As much as we bitch about this swipe happy app, it's just too popular and works too well to leave it off the list. It has its obvious negatives, but the user friendliness, instant connecting, and massive potential match pool make it most people's first download choice when they need a quick hook up or confidence-boosting attention.
Whether you love it or think it's trash, it's going to be one of the best for the foreseeable future, and those are just facts. Tinder is place you go to find someone to flirt with ASAP. Everyone and their mother is on Tinder, and the wide variety of people means you'll never not be able to find someone close. Tinder is great for finding a quick hookup with someone nearby where you live, and it's especially handy if you're looking for a vacation fling or a local to show you around while you're traveling. It's pretty much online dating without the commitment: You can use it when you're bored, ignore it for three weeks, and come back to find new matches and a new crowd to swipe through.
This isn't to say that Tinder is only used for finding a one night stand or friends with benefits situation, though. A lot of people are truly on Tinder to find a real relationship, and it's likely that you know at least one couple that met on Tinder if you don't, just look at these mushy Tinder success stories.
Because you're making your swipe decision based on someone's photos and a tiny bio that's usually just a Parks and Recreation quote, Tinder gets a lot of shit for being superficial. And if you're only looking for a casual encounter, this speedy, no-frills process is exactly what you want. You mean, other than the obvious fact that you'll probably get carpal tunnel from having to swipe through so many profiles? Well, there is no real matchmaking process, so Tinder will suggest literally every single person in the age range and distance radius that you set.
And if you specifically opted to only see matches of the same gender, Tinder will still throw the opposite gender in there, because they apparently don't believe that you can actually just be gay. There's a disadvantage to the whole swiping-based-on-photos thing, too: Because true matchmaking is nonexistent, that face of that hottie who you matched with might be the only thing you like about them.
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Matching based solely on physical attraction is just asking for awkward conversations, horrendous disagreements, and unsolicited dick pics down the road. You'll be lucky if you avoid being messaged something totally raunchy and uninvited, but most users are nice humans and will state their intentions in their bios.
Say what you want about Tinder , but it gets the job done.
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Everyone shits on the shallow matching, but that fast-paced action is exactly what many young people want. If it didn't work to some extent, Tinder's user base would have gone downhill a long time ago. Love is a gamble, after all. Grindr his is the place for gay people who can't stand the heteronormativity of apps like Tinder or Bumble.
Regular subscription with ads: Grindr is the world's biggest social networking app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people, helping singles get it on since Because there aren't a ton of women on it, it's usually known as the app for gay men — and at 3. Though it's kind of pegged as a hookup app, finding a lasting relationship on here isn't impossible by any means.
Just keep in mind that many users you'll come across aren't looking for anything serious. What it's good for: This is the place for gay people who can't stand the heteronormativity of apps like Tinder or Bumble, and is especially handy for those looking for a friends with benefits situation. Grindr users have no chill. It's gay paradise, y'all, and if you've been thinking that you've met every gay man in your area already, Grindr might be able to show you some newbies who you never knew existed. Instead of swiping right or left to match, you'll get a borderline infinite collage of people who are close location wise, and honestly, it's super jumbled and scary to look at.
It can be a pretty speedy process if you want it to be, and most users just looking to hook up will let you know right off that they're not trying to make small talk. However, in , Grindr launched their thoughtful LGBTQ online magazine called Into in efforts to make itself look more like a lifestyle brand and less like a hookup app. Grindr also announced that they're working on an option for users to notify potential partners of their STD status as a way to stop the spread of infections among dating app users particularly HIV and AIDS. They've tried this sort of thing before , but had some issues with sharing users' health information with third parties.
Overall, their hearts are in the right place, and I commend them for trying to promote the importance of safe sex. You're also going to get badgered for pictures as well, so if you're uncomfortable with that, steer clear for a while. Grindr is hookup heavy. It's nice that most users are honest about their intentions AKA no feelings mixups , but people looking for a serious relationship might get discouraged.