Dating in your mid 50s
People over 50 are having multiple partners without using protection, because many are not used to using contraception, such as condoms. He might have health issues. You may come across diabetes, heart problems, erectile dysfunction…You have to ask questions and decide what suits your needs and desires.
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No Comments Yet Comments are closed. Subscribe Elevate your love life with practical dating advice delivered right to your inbox. I f I may pluck from the dating hazards of yesteryear an unsavoury example, take crabs. In the past, an infestation was to be avoided on so many counts. Mere discomfort and squeamishness were the least of them. Crabs brought with them, quite apart from itchiness, a kind of physical and moral squalor.
If a date were to give you crabs, that would make you feel the lowest of the low. You never could tell. Dating has always been fraught with worries. In the 80s, when I was dating first time round, crabs were definitely to be feared. Last month, a magazine named me as one of the 80s It Girls. My children asked me, "What's an It Girl?
Always worked, no handbags and a sceptical view of "fun-loving". Dating for young women, even the "cool girls", is rarely the "fun" it is cracked up to be. Indeed, dating for women at any age. Three decades later, I am back in the game. I'm working hard on not making the same mistakes as before, and mainly failing, though doing my best to maintain some measure of midlife dignity in the face of a frankly undignified pastime. Well, at least I shall be spared one humiliation. Now that everyone's shaving to the nth degree to achieve the full lacquered finish of a Chinese box, crabs are toast, apparently, no longer "presenting" in doctors' surgeries.
I scored the happy ending for a while; was married to an exceptional and wonderful man. It wasn't part of the plan that I have — reluctantly — found myself back in the game. I never really learned how to play successfully and had hoped, when I got married, that I could put all that misery behind me. I have just turned My age and stage, as well as the times, mean the game bears almost no resemblance to the one I knew and has become all the more tricky and bewildering.
There is a new raft of considerations I never had to face back in the day. A couple of months or so ago, I had a fling with someone much younger; something of an eye-opener in more ways than one, but I don't regret it for a moment. It came about in a way that was slow-burning and then completely unexpected, most of all to myself. My friends were gratifyingly agog and full of safely married encouragement. I have no idea how I did it.
I have spent my life crucified by my curves, eating disorders and all, and these days I am worried about wrinkles as well as fat and physical flaws. But the venture was so incredibly exciting, if so madcap and doomed, that I found I didn't care what I looked like.
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It was almost as if the absence of competition — how could I possess the youthful attributes of women his age? I had to assume he appreciated qualities which I had and which they did not. This was fantastically liberating.
1. The ex factor
The other worry my friends voiced was porn. How could I compete with women his age who had been force-fed a diet of the stuff and learned practices and techniques that had doubtless never crossed my boring married mind? In the olden days, we had an expression — good in bed — which seems hopelessly unfit for purpose in Only in a bed? My hopeful answer was that plenty of men wax lyrical about the older women with whom they had flings when they were young.
But this so-called 'baggage' can be one of the biggest issues of dating at middle-age—no one escapes the big ex. Whether divorced, widowed, or never married in the first place, it's likely that the significant ex has left an impact. The first step to getting back into dating is accepting this baggage, both your own, and that of others. The following comes from an email exchange with something James, he admires her lack of ex speak compared to others:. Not even to slap him. Accepting the past as the past is a huge step towards a positive future. Everyone has an ex or two out there, but that shouldn't stop anyone re-entering the dating game.
Use your experiences with your ex to figure out what you want from the future. As we get older, it seems that our friendship circles dwindle. Remember in school how easy it was to make friends? University years, early working years, friendship circles were endless, and it seemed like every outing brought about a new acquaintance. Why do friendship groups dwindle? Just because we get older doesn't mean we become less social, it may just require a little more effort. Reaching out to friends as we get older is also beneficial to health.
Back in the game: dating in your 50s
Levine, PhD, the self-declared 'Friendship Doctor', has the following to say on the matter. No one is more attractive to others than someone who is engaged in life. Find something that stirs your passions and places you in regular contact with the same people week after week. The modern technological age has made it easier to reconnect with old friends through social media. It's also made it easier to find events that interest us , where we're likely to meet like-minded people, and who knows who you may meet from there.
At least dating will never be as awkward as these 80's dating videos. Alright, it isn't the old-fashioned way, but it is the modern way. There was a time when online dating was something to be embarrassed by, but nowadays a third of relationships start online. Dating websites are by no means a new concept, but there have been many advances. Paula Hall, a relationship counsellor at Relate says this of online dating:.