Perfect online dating first message

Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps. In fact, it literally stimulates your brain and makes you feel good.

First Message Online Dating Formula That Works (With Examples) - Beyond Ages

And the better she feels about talking to you, the more likely she is to share her number. The example above is more suited for a dating site where longer messages are the norm, but you can get her talking about herself on a dating app with a short message like this:. Those three elements are crucial if you want to get a response to your online dating opener. Weekday evenings are generally best — many women unwind from a long day at work by firing up a dating app while catching up on Netflix. According to Nielsen , activity on both OkCupid and Tinder peaks at 9 pm, and usage starts to rapidly decline after 10 pm.

On Bumble, the real action starts a little earlier, with activity peaking at 6 pm. And if you happen to find yourself stuck inside due to inclement weather like a blizzard, hurricane or rainstorm, put these first message examples to good use.

Guys, Here’s How To Write The Perfect First Online Dating Message That Women Will Actually Read

NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps. In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:.


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The more messages you send, the more desperate you look. There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes!

Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages. A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.

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It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times. Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. This may sound a little like bragging and it is but it is done in a confident way that is more matter-of-fact than arrogant.


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If you can demonstrate confidence early when messaging an older women you will have better results. This is where you give a little and take a little. In this example it was from a woman who said she was great at ping pong:. It is very easy to take a message the wrong way, even one that follows a first message online dating formula. You need to find the right balance and it can take a little practice before you find it. This is where you seal it. You want her to get motivated to actually send you a message back.

My favorite line was:. This is a great way to connect with her and demonstrate that messaging you is in her best interest. She is on that site to meet someone great and that just might be you.

First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

Now that you have given her every reason to reply you tell her exactly what you want her to do. If you can get her to take the big step of messaging you back your odds have already increased tremendously. I knew that would get your attention! I read through your profile and we seem to share a love of adventure, the feel of sand in our toes, and the taste of an authentic french croissant.


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I just got back from a life changing two week scuba retreat in Belize. I think we would have a lot of fun together even if you are going to be mopey the whole night after I kick your butt in ping pong.