We are talking but not dating

I have been dating someone I really like for about a month now. Right after we went on our first date, I met another guy at a wedding I attended. We exchanged numbers, I heard from Wedding Guy a few days later and he informed me that he was having surgery and would be out of commission for a few weeks. Our connection was growing. When Wedding Guy was healthy and called me to make a date, I panicked. It felt way too soon to have the exclusivity talk with Sixth Date Guy, but too far in for me to go out on a date with someone else. And was Sixth Date Guy going out with other girls?

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Did that mean I was more into him than he was into me? Was I going to ruin everything by making the wrong decision? Let me jump right to the lesson. I was approaching this dating dilemma in the wrong way. I was dating multiple people preemptively, to avoid getting hurt or I was assuming exclusivity until the guy confirmed otherwise.


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I was waiting for someone else to make a decision about what felt right for me. How dumb is that?


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This time, I decided I was waiting for no one, I would make my decision based on what felt comfortable to me, regardless of what Sixth Date Guy was doing. I contacted Wedding Guy and told him the truth: Maybe he would have gone on the date. The night started out great, we had some drinks and went to a bar with some of his friends. In addition to a fresh coat of powder and gloss, I left the bathroom with a giant chip on my shoulder. Later that night, fueled by tequila and insecurity, I absolutely needed to know the status of our relationship, like right this second.

As soon as he and I were alone back at his place, the tsunami brewing in my head all night came rushing forth, catching my guy completely off guard. In the end, I had no title and a severe lacking in dignity those got washed away by a flood of drunk tears…the absolute worst kind of tears. The relationship trudged on for some time, but the dynamic had completely changed.

From then on he always felt out of my reach. The terms of the relationship became entirely his to dictate and I anxiously waited for him to pick me, while I tried to prove that I was good enough and worthy of being his girlfriend. Try not to have it.

Relationships work best when you can just live in the moment and let things unfold naturally, without pressure or an agenda. Give it some time. I would say wait about two to three months before getting into the title talk.

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Relationships take time to develop. Every relationship is a unique experience and moves at a different rate. By that point, you should have an idea of where things are headed. Be clear on what you want before you go in. In my case, I wanted a committed relationship and instead settled for something that made me feel inadequate and kind of pathetic. When you recognize and admit what it is you want, you will be better able to move towards it. Remember, you deserve to have the relationship you want and do not need to settle for the scraps someone else is willing to spare.

Take a few days or even weeks to get clear on exactly what you want from a relationship. Let this information penetrate your being and embolden you. When you are solid in your convictions you will be able to come from a place of confidence and high self-worth, which ultimately sets the foundation for you to get what it is you want.

I think my story attests to this one pretty well!


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The fact is, men typically do not respond well when a woman is coming at them from a place of emotion. They are much more logical and pragmatic in how they approach life and problems and are much more receptive when a woman comes to them from a place of strength and reason, as opposed to a crumbling emotional mess. So if you must have the talk, make sure to do it when you are strong, clear-headed, and know exactly what it is you want.

Will you stay and wait it out? Spend some time really considering the answers to these questions. If he really likes you , he will happily put a label on it. Also, this talk can only be had in person. You approached him in a confident, direct manner and conveyed to him in your own way that you want the relationship to be official.

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Instead, I came from a selfish place and let my ego get way too involved. There you have it, the top tips for having the talk and getting the relationship you want. Or there is something more to it? Dec he then asked for space. So I stopped calling or texting him. In the beginning it started of as friends, then friends with benefits. He says he doesnt want a relationship, but tells me he does. Its always been a back and forth issue. When i have ask him to if you want me, then want me, if not then let me go. He then tells me he loves me and he needs me.

One thing he did say you know we are more then friends. I ask what does that mean he doesnt answer or respond to it. He tells me, he doesnt like labels. After he got off the phone he told me that i was wearing him out. So calmly I told him to decide what would he like to do. He did say he wanted to end it. But still wanted to call me and hang out.

Once I told him not to call me anymore.

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In the modern day down-in-the-DM-life we live, it can be hard to determine how serious, or not serious, you and your boo may be.

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Is it okay to put you on my snap story?? Can I add your buddy on Facebook? Is it too soon to post an Insta together? Who the frick knows. A person you're seeing?