Hong kong guys dating
I don't mind what anyone says, I just really appreciate the time people have taken to give me advice. It is the early stages of the relationship with us and I think i'm going to give it some time for us to really get to know each other further before i make any major decisions about this relationship. He is a good person, and i don't mind dealing with cultural differences.
He is just a very private person and probably the reason he feels he can't confide in me is that a few months ago we have a big fight and i was very upset about it, my sister saw that i was very upset and i confided in her about the problem and i told my bf that i mentioned our problem to her. He told me he feels he lost some trust in me, since i would talk about our relationship to her. I told him that was the only time i did it which is the truth which leads him to tell me that it will take time to earn the trust back.
I'm willing to give him time to deal with this, but at the same time, its not odd for a canadian woman to confide in her family about relationship problems, and i feel that while i'm accepting of his cultural differences, he isn't of mine.
Why foreign women dont date chinese men? (Hong Kong) | InterNations
I'll have to give him time and space to figure out what he wants to do, I love him and i want him to trust me again. Face up to it, Alexis, - he really isn't that into you. His actions speak of indifference, and it will not get better. Maybe he used to be attentive, but now he isn't. He has lost interest. This is regardless of any excuses he or you drum up.
Sure, he wants to keep you hanging on - because you do Find someone who shows he cares for you through his actions. Haylei 11 yrs ago sounds to me that he doesn't want to deepen this relationship further til he is successful in his career and can offer you a safe future.
Just keep faith, and if you love him just be patient with him. Peace and Love Haylei. He is doing exactly what he was programmed to do. Work hard, be successful, and add to his collection of things to show that he is successful. In your case he is trying to add a caucasian I assume trophy wife. If you do not comply he will just pick a different one. Who can stay home with the child and miss him while he is working all the time.
I have many Chinese wives complaign to me that this is what they husbands do. Spending lots of time together and dealing wih emotional issues is not in the programming. It will not be no matter how successful his business is!!! Haylei 11 yrs ago you deserve better sweetie, i hope it all works out. My HK bf used to be really attentive, now I feel he is losing interest. I've struggled for a long time but I am still holding onto the relationship. He is under a lot of stress, lost his job and lost his apartment.
I do not advise ppl breaking up unless they've had a really good talk. Piperbasher 8 yrs ago This is not a Chinese thing but a Hong Kong thing.
Why foreign women dont date chinese men? (Hong Kong)
Honestly I don't think expat men or even women in HK work less hours than Chinese men. Everybody work crazy hours and travel for business almost on regular basis just the same. I think the standard of measurement should be how he treats you when he is with you and not just how often he can afford to be with you.
If you want to have attentive company with you all the time you'd be better off getting a dog in HK and I'm not trying to be mean. Most HK men, even Western educated ones are still influenced by traditional culture. Most Asian cultures are still biased when it comes to gender, and in a relationship the man has more power than the women. This has changed quite a bit in HK in the last 20 years. Women now want to get a say in their own relationships, especially career women who have clout in the office place. Most Chinese men however still want their girlfriends and wives to be submissive.
Or even if opinionated and career focused, not as strong or as successful as they are themselves. So the sad thing is, in a traditional culture, the stronger and more successful woman has actually a smaller pool of men to pick from. Not only does she have to find a man who she can respect, but someone who won't run away because she's got her own opinions.
For expat women the scene is even tougher. There are several barriers.
There's the cultural barrier which exists anywhere in the world between people of a different culture or race. Generally HK men also prefer the cute, young, and slim looking type of girl. Then there's the point I made in the paragraph earlier, since lots of HK men don't want a woman that's more dominant or outgoing than they are, they don't want to date expat women. You will see expat men with Chinese girls all the time, but will be lucky to see an expat women with a Chinese guy once a month. I know of two girls that's moved away from HK now specifically because they couldn't find a guy to settle down with here, and needed to move on to find a man.
Ok, so how are the girls going to fix this situation? Well, at the very least apply the right type of strategy. Hey if I was playing sports and I wasn't good at a sport, I can't really get much bigger or faster, but I could improve a hell of a lot by practicing the right techniques and strategies. Same here, you can't get much prettier or younger again, so apply the right strat. If the situation is not good then it's not good, deal with it.
Don't live in an idealised world which is different from the environment you are in. That just sets you up for disappointment.
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That's why in previous posts I've highlighted many times how women are instinctively attracted to jerks and put off by nice guys. But maybe then, consciously knowing this fact, you can consciously pick to be with a nice person. Rather than just relying on the butterflies in the stomach feeling that gets you a nice date for 3 months, and then disappointment after. Don't just rely on feelings. For some reason lots of HK girls think being flirtatious means they come across as easy or slutty, and opens themselves up for meeting the wrong guys.
HK girls that are defensive in that way just come across as unfriendly and snobbish. The most attractive girls I know are friendly to every guy, and really nice, so they will end up having more guys like them and will have more to pick from. Not every guy is a player and when a girl immediately indicates no without learning more about a guy she's reducing her choices.
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Flirtatious and friendly girls that know how to keep the situation under control have a lot more choice. Try to analyse a guy and the relationship clearly without emotions clouding your thoughts. Learn to seperate emotions from the business of finding a guy. Girls can do it at work, and girls can give good advice to their friends, so they need to be able to step out of their own shoes and judge a guy without emotions affecting judgement. Trust me, sex can be a powerful weapon to controling a guy.
Lots of girls will have less sex when they feel unloved or unhappy and this in turn means the guy will think less about her and more about other girls. Sex might be a physical thing for a guy, but in a relationship it's still an intimate and pair bonding experience. Don't make the situation worse by cutting a guy off. Just don't have sex with a guy too soon. Basically, my advice are all based on focusing less on emotions and being more consciously smart about how things really are. I know it's hard for a woman to do since women get quite emotional but that's the reality of it all.
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