Science behind dating
And so I began researching the science of how we form relationships. So what does this science of attraction tell us? Well, first, it turns out that one of the strongest predictors of whether any two people will form a relationship is sheer physical proximity.
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About a half of romantic relationships are formed between people who live relatively near each other and the greater the geographical distance between two people, the less likely they are to get together. Of course, online dating and dating apps have changed where we meet our future partners. But even online, geography continues to have an influence.
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After all, the point of online dating is eventually to meet someone offline — and it costs more time and money to meet someone who lives further away. Second, appearance does matter.
People perceived to be physically attractive get asked out on dates more often and receive more messages on online dating sites. They even have sex more often and, apparently, have more orgasms during sex. But physical attractiveness matters most in the absence of social interaction. Once social interaction takes place, other traits come into their own.
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It turns out that both women and men value traits such as kindness , warmth, a good sense of humour, and understanding in a potential partner — in other words, we prefer people we perceive as nice. Being nice can even make a person seem more physically attractive. But of course, the social context matters as well. Consuming alcohol , for example, really can make everyone else appear more physically attractive. And my own research has shown that love sometimes really is blind.
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People in romantic relationships, particularly new relationships, are biased in how they perceive their partners. Third, it seems that we like people who like us.
This idea of reciprocity may sound very simple, but it has incredibly important implications for all relationships. Chat-up lines may sound like a bit of fun, but all romantic relationships are built on reciprocal self-disclosure — the mutual exchange of intimate information with a partner. The hidden science behind dating success: Psychologist reveals the simple seven-step guide to make sure he comes back for more Emotional intelligence expert Madeleine Mason reveals dating secrets Advises singletons not to play it cool as can have opposite effect She advises laughing and being daring on a date - and having a good time By Naomi Greenaway for MailOnline Published: Share this article Share.
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