Girl im dating is shy
The ideal first date would be somewhere where you can spend time along, without the pressures of anyone around to make her feel more nervous. Going for a walk, a state park or a quiet diner are all good ideas.
Also, be sure that the first time you two hold hands or kiss again this depends on how shy she still is would probably be best if it happened with just the two of you around. Moving too fast could cause her to become shy around you again, setting you both back in the relationship you were building. It's best to move slowly or ask if she's comfortable if you're unsure of whether or not she's ready for holding hands or to go to a movie. This is usually helpful in young relationships in middle school or high school where everyone is getting a feel for dating.
Again, it really depends on how shy the girl is and her reasons for being shy. She may open up to you quickly or she may remain very shy with you for a long time. Be sure to keep in mind that this relationship will take a long time to develop. If you move too fast, she may end up not knowing how to deal with the situation. This can lead to her avoiding you, not answering your phone calls or lying about stupid things in order to try to keep you away.
These are signs that you're going to fast or that she's not into you. Dating a shy girl is not much different than dating any other girl, except for that fact that you'll have to spend a lot more time making sure she is comfortable and that you're not moving too fast. The first few months or weeks depending on the girl will be slow until the girl starts opening up to you. After she does this, you'll soon find out more things about her and will probably figure out why she was so shy in the first place. Just be sure to relieve any of the pressure she'll be feeling of overcoming her shyness and show her your support and love.
This is key in dating a shy girl and maintaining that relationship. Be open with her and honest and she'll do the same with you.
How to Make Her Feel Comfortable
A quick note from personal experience: I've actually found that certain people just make you feel more comfortable than others. If holding someone's hand or being close to them causes either of you any discomfort or makes you nervous, you may want to consider if this is the right person for you. I've had one boyfriend who I never could feel comfortable around thankfully it ended and another boyfriend who I felt instantly comfortable around.
There's no point in forcing any relationship if you're not happy or comfortable with it. It may seem like a bad note to leave on, but there are "plenty of fish in the sea" and the one person who does make you feel comfortable and loved may just be out there waiting for you. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I'm a Dutch guy working in the Czech Republic and I met a girl just a week ago who I saw a lot of times earlier at my work, office etc We had an office party the day later and we talked almost the whole evening.
Being quite close and I felt that she actually felt quite comfortable around me. Looking into each others eyes, talking quite without issues, yet When I gave her compliments on how she looked looks very stunning and on her beautiful eyes, this actually made her look away and it gave me the feeling that not many men told her this which surprises me as she is a really sweet girl.
How to Date a Shy Girl
Now, I realised that she is a very shy girl and probably not used to a man liking her. We did talk a couple of times at work though and I also invited her for getting a cup of coffee in a cafe where they also have cats she loves cats and I'm not allergic, so I thought, best place to make her feel comfy. Just yesterday I got to know from a common friend that I should be very slow and behave more in a friendly way as I otherwise could scare her off Now, I certainly don't want to scare her off because I'm very interested in who she is and if there could be something between her and me I was not looking for a new girlfriend, because my previous gf was not that sweet I most probably will have the lunch with her tomorrow at this cat-cafe and I'm wondering what to do best.
Trying to be goofy could make me shy: Thanks for the writing and advise and I hope that you can write me if there is something else that I could or can't do to get to know her better. Hmmm, that does pose a problem for sure. The only idea I can think of is try to apologize for being forward and that you hope you didn't come on too strongly or make a bad impression.
Over time you could possibly give her a small gift. It'd be hard to find out what she likes, but you said she's a reader, so maybe a popular book? Find out something about her. It's a bit of a shot in the dark for either of them, but if you're serious about it, give it time.
Good things could come from it. Yeah I had considered that but unfortunately they don't speak anymore.
Why are People Shy?
I think they were only really work colleagues and he's not even friends with her on FB anymore so I don't really have a way of striking up a conversation with her outside of her job. That in itself wouldn't be a big problem if it was somewhere I was likely to see her regularly but that isn't the case. She's rarely working when I go in and even when she is it's not really the type of environment where you can have a long conversation with someone, unlike say in a coffee shop. At the moment I'm consigned to occasional 60 second exchanges roughly once a month, hardly an ideal framework on which to build any kind of comfortable precursor to asking her out.
Then again I'm aware that simply asking her out again will probably just scare her away. I need to find some sort of middle ground but I'm not really sure what that is. It's definitely possible she just panicked. Of all the places that I would find an awkward place to get asked out on a date is the place where I work. Not only are there other people around, like co-workers, but there's also other customers around.
If you haven't talked to her much before and she's shy, she may find it a little odd of some random stranger walking up while she's working and wanting to go on a date with her. Building a connection beforehand is an easier way to ease into seeing if she's interested in something more.
She may have just easily brushed you off because she doesn't know you or because there isn't a reason as to why you would like her as you both haven't talked much. Certain girls are more up for just going on a date, but as a shy girl myself, I would never consider going out with anyone I haven't talked to before and knew a little bit about themselves. The only advice I can think of is to find a way to get to know her a little more. If your friend is on friendly terms with her, maybe have him introduce you or have a group date where everyone has fun playing laser tag, a LAN party or a cinema that she doesn't work at.
This was a great read and I'm hoping you can give me some advice. I myself am quite a shy guy I can easily get up in front of a room full of people to do stand-up but the thought of approaching a stranger makes me feel physically sick. Anyway, there's a girl at my local cinema who I've had a crush on for a while but never really spoken to. A friend of mine used to work with her and from what I can gather she is also quite shy - very geeky, film buff, big reader and doesn't seem to have had much dating experience.
The other day I approached her and asked her if she'd like to go for a coffee and she looked genuinely shocked, hesitated and then said she's seeing someone. In hindsight it probably wasn't the best time to ask her as it was very busy but I kind of wanted to get an answer instead of spending months and months waiting, something which I have a tendency for.
Tips on Dating a Shy Girl to Make it an Awesome First Date
The thing is I don't really believe she's seeing someone as she made a reference on Facebook the other day about being the only single person in her family. Then, when I got home she'd updated her status with: So is it possible she just panicked? Is it worth asking her again or will that just pressure her further? Any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Those are some good suggestions, orink3. Thanks for the comment.
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It's definitely always better to have something prepared if you know ahead of time that you're going to be the one doing all the talking. This is one of my favorite, early "Ice breakers", a 16 min YouTube link starring T. Short, appropriate poems and stories from one's own past can also be effective, and they also serve to make you feel you're "giving it your best shot". Which salves the soul if things still don't work out. It definitely is a different world that people are growing up in.
I can't imagine what it's going to be like for people ten years from now, when technology advances even further and drives more barriers between people. I'm glad you found the hub a good source of information. This hub has so much valuable information. I work with young adults and because of modern technology they have a hard time with basic social skills.
I think this hub would be good for people who find it difficult to interface with other's as well. Thanks for the comment, Chace! I'm happy you found it a good source of information. I get told all the time that I'm too quiet and never talk because I'm so shy.
When I'm actually not really. If people just stop pestering me to talk and let me warm up to them, I'll actually feel like talking. I've had a couple bad experiences with guys not knowing how to deal with my shyness which turned me off of dating for a while. Luckily I have a lovable goofball boyfriend right now that makes me feel so much better about my "shyness".
How to Make Her Feel Comfortable The key to dating a girl who is shy is simply to make her feel comfortable. Things that Will Make her Self Conscious Saying that she is shy will only make he more uncomfortable. Pointing out that she doesn't talk much or trying too hard to make her talk will have the opposite effect.
You may have a lot of swashbuckling incidents to narrate that make you look no less than but unh-un, please keep that figment of imagination for a later date and concentrate on your shy woman's talking on the first one. Broach up a topic that will make her want to talk about like if she's into ballet, make yourself a little dumb and ask questions that make you look genuinely interested. An aurally gifted man is simply alluring, ask any woman and she will attest to our observation.
It's not the time for your male acrobats as yet. Men are men and a little touching gratification is okay unless it veers off in a different route completely. But with shy women, it's no surprise that it is tricky. Once you get her talking and things look reasonably eased up, then you can hold her hand at the end of the date, and that too strategically don't just grab it as if it were the last piece of pizza.
But if, your shy girl is a deep-rooted shy one who doesn't give a whit about her ideas you'll come to know if the woman's started to feel comfortable as the date will progress , then steer clear of making any kind of body contact. Well, maybe a quick handshake is okay, and no matter how hard you find to relinquish the grip of your hand from hers, you let go of her or else you'll freak her out. Fellas, we know there are quite a few cons about dating a shy woman as she'll be less likely to give you any signals and will take a lot of time to thaw but there are pros to her as well.
She will be more loyal than her other counterparts and just imagine being someone who is privy to a shy girl's innermost thoughts! That in itself is so exhilarating and ego-boosting ;. Dating Advice for Shy Guys. Cool Things to Say to a Girl. Great Things to Say to Your Girlfriend. How to Get a Girl to Like You. Things Girls Like to Hear. Funny Things to Say to a Girl. Guide to Understanding Women in Relationships.
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