Online dating initial messages

You might think that words like gorgeous , beautiful , and sexy are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them. On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point. But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out.

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We took a close look at salutations. The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.


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A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online. It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times. Your subject line would simply be for example:. She is almost guaranteed to at least read your message if only to find out if she actually knows you.

Different Ways To Say Hi On Tinder And Get A Response

There is no magic bullet here. This is a little funny and sets a good tone for the rest of your message.

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This is where you want to continue connecting with her as well as telling her why you are messaging her. Try to include the senses involved in the shared interests. You want her to hear, smell, feel, taste, and see what you are talking about.

Be careful to only include positive shared interests. You are not going to get a response if you start off a message by saying for example:. Now you you want to tell an interesting story tied to one of the interests you just mentioned. If one of your shared passions is scuba diving you could say:.

Fourteen days of diving in crystal clear waters having adventures in the local countryside. This serves dual purposes. In the first sentence you are showing that you are an interesting guy that is fun to be around. In the second you are painting the picture of a life that she would like to be a part of. Now that you have demonstrated why you are messaging her you can briefly mention a few of your strongest characteristics to really get her hooked.

How to Write Your First Online Dating Message | The Soulmates Blog

This may sound a little like bragging and it is but it is done in a confident way that is more matter-of-fact than arrogant. If you can demonstrate confidence early when messaging an older women you will have better results. This is where you give a little and take a little. In this example it was from a woman who said she was great at ping pong:.

It is very easy to take a message the wrong way, even one that follows a first message online dating formula. You need to find the right balance and it can take a little practice before you find it. This is where you seal it. You want her to get motivated to actually send you a message back. My favorite line was:. This is a great way to connect with her and demonstrate that messaging you is in her best interest.