First date nightmares online dating
She decides gets up to open up window got a bit smoky. She then decides to jump back on her bed, miscalculates and bounces off her bed then slams her head on her nightstand. Which got super awkward. It got even more awkward after, because she suggested we do acid. Have some drinks, watch TV, hang out with her cats, then have sex!
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Wake up to sunshine and cigarettes and kiss goodbye and head out. Cue two or three of her friends sending me death threats and harassing me for being a lying asshole and other psycho made-up things. Later on I take her to a restaurant for dinner, she wants pizza so we split a pizza. A few years ago a friend of mine set up profiles on a few dating sites and she asked me to join them, too, so I could give my opinion on the guys she talked to.
So I put up blank profiles on two or three different sites.
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Every now and then, years later, I get dick pics. Dick pics on a blank profile. Do guys think this will work? This girl and I messaged back and forth for a while. Got along pretty well.
We decided to meet up about half way between both our hometowns. We basically sit in the car for two hours insulting one another. She calls me short, I call her flat chested. Afterward, we say our goodbyes and I head back home. We chat via text for about a week after that, but soon realize that even though the sex was good, we were not compatible as friends. Never heard from her again. Girl and I had been texting, talking on the phone, even Skyped once it was dark and hard to see.
She actually had a great personality and we hit it off. Her profile pictures were of a gorgeous girl, always posing seductively. She told me to meet her at her hotel room at the Adolphus in Dallas, TX very nice, very expensive. When she opened the door, I was speechless, this was NOT the girl in the pictures at all.
It looked like she had eaten the girl in the picture! How could someone lie to me like that? I start talking to this girl who is cute and can keep a conversation flowing. We agree to meet up for a trivia night at a local restaurant. I show up about 15 minutes early and sit at the bar to drink before she arrives. The conversation was terrible, but I noticed she was taking the chicken fingers and ripping them up in her hands and putting the breading in her huge purse. So naturally I called her out on it.
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She plopped the thing in the middle of the table, and it just kinda chilled out. I played with the chinchilla a bit, and she kinda got mad at me for playing with it and back in the purse it went. I brought up this lb. He asked if the guy was named XXX. She only wanted to communicate through email or the dating site — which I thought was odd but just went with it. Thirty minutes into our date, I found out why…. He had loads of swords and machetes on the wall and decided to hold one to my throat to show me how incredibly strong they were.
I arrived on the date, all happy, but realized that the girl who sat was a year old lady with two children and was just finding an excuse to leave her house. I was a fan. When we meet up, the wit disappeared. I tossed her a couple of verbal jousts. It turns out her roommate had been helping her reply to messages.
Without asking, she reached over and started picking toppings of my pizza. I spent a week messaging a few girls and decided to meet the first of these girls to put my plan into action. First, he complimented her feet. Kinda weird, but OK. Then he asked if he could suck on her toes. She kicked at him and left. She stopped answering him. However one extremely rude first date left her reeling and wondering what went wrong. She met a guy at a bar for their first date.
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That kind of ego-crushing, jaw-dropping douchery is what many people fear when online dating. One of my guy friends actually got stood up after driving 40 minutes to meet a girl who just never texted him back. Maybe she was kidnapped on her way to the restaurant. Or maybe she took one look at him and left. Either way, it sucks. She started off the date by having an hour-long phone call and screaming about her baby daddy. Hard to imagine, but it got worse from there. He assumed she meant she wanted to smoke pot and told her to go right ahead. She dove into the backseat.
This crazy date is an extreme example of why driving with someone on a first date is a horrible idea. One of my friends had her first Tinder date at an outdoor movie in the park. She packed a little picnic of wine and Cheez-Its to make it extra cute, but her date was totally undeserving of the effort.
He chugged the wine immediately and made fun of her for liking Cheez-Its while eating them by the handful. Then he asked her to drive him to his car after the movie. He pointed 10 feet away.