Dating a girl twenty years younger

Dating a Year Younger Girl: Meet Our Full Guide

She'd never met me. At a year reunion of a mag where I used to work, talk with former colleagues, now mainly middle-aged women, turned to relationships. There'd been divorces, new partners, lots of the usual drama over the years.

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When I chimed in with my story, I might as well have announced my new life as a serial killer. I was asked for a picture. My phone was passed around in a long awkward silence, then literally thrown back at me. I asked what the issue was. Apparently it was that young women are possible "husband stealers". They saw my relationship through the lens of their own fears.

It can be hilarious though. When I use the expression "what a hoot" it's a total hoot, apparently.

If You're Thinking Of Dating Someone Younger, You Need To Read This First

Films that came out what seems like a year or two ago are "classics". I like The Clash. She likes … stuff I've never heard of. I'll tell some story and she'll say, "that was when I was four," which continues to amaze us both.

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It's like being in love with someone from another country, the differences subtle, interesting and intriguing. Her parents are only five and eight years older than me, which I was a bit worried about when first meeting them.

Unfortunately for me, rather than disapproving, they think it's hilarious. And "it's almost 9. I once said it's the person, not the age, I love and was told, quite heatedly, that "she wouldn't be the same person" if she wasn't younger. But to experience the firm resistance to nudging up against one of society's lighter taboos, I can't imagine what it must be like to break a biggie.

I'm very glad I'm just an old dude, not a gay cowboy.

(Closed) Desilusional men who think they can get women that are 20 years younger

Are age gaps in relationships a 'living cliche'? Let us know in the Comments section. He is owner of a creative events and activations agency and is a regular commentator on the life and style of Australian men. My partner is 20 years younger than me Or maybe she's not looking for financial security, but she thinks you're going to be a complete gentleman who will woo her with flowers and chocolates, whereas you're not the slightest bit romantic in the traditional sense. She might have completely unrealistic expectations of men in general, or she might simply have unrealistic expectations from you in particular that you are never going to be able to meet, and you will need to work those out before starting something serious.

Similarly, you might be tempted to date a younger woman rather than someone your own age because of a cliched idea that they have a relative lack of "issues", are more wild, fun, flexible, and so on. This isn't a great way of looking at things: You expect your partner to love you, warts and all, so if you're only dating younger women because you think that they're relatively "flawless", you're going about things entirely the wrong way.

The only way you can figure this stuff out is to talk openly about your expectations. If she's seeking a silver fox who will open car doors for her and order Champagne at every restaurant you visit, you're going to need to be straight with her if you're not going to be providing that for her.


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Let her know that you're a person she'll be dating, not a weird father figure or security blanket. Likewise, she can let you know that she's a human woman with flaws and insecurities, not a hot babe who will never "burden" you with a single emotional need. Just kidding, we know you don't expect or want that at all. You don't want that, right? Let's say you're not burdened by the above issues: You're not looking for a flawless one-dimensional sex doll and she's not looking for a sugar daddy either — you're just two regular people who like each other and clicked, and there happens to be an age gap between you.

It's still worth considering the "stage of life" problem, though. While not everyone moves through life at the same pace and ticks off the same milestones at the same time university, work, marriage, babies, buying a house, etc. If your significant other is an amazing person who you mesh with well, but you simply aren't looking for the same things she just wants to party, you're ready to start thinking about settling down and having kids, for example , it's just not going to work out. These issues can, of course, affect couples who are the same age and who have different priorities, but relationships with a large age gap are especially susceptible to the "stage of life" problem.

It pays to look very closely and honestly at your reasons for considering dating a younger woman. If you're ignoring a disturbing power imbalance — or you're dating a younger woman in the hope of avoiding all the "baggage" fully realized adult women bring with them — you need to take a deeper look at your priorities. Your partner isn't a trophy to show off to your friends and coworkers, she's a human with her own interests, struggles, insecurities and past. If that scares you, you might not be ready for a relationship at all, let alone one with a younger woman.

However, maybe you've met a woman you really vibe with, and she's younger but not too young, and you've talked about everything — your expectations, where you are in life, your goals for the next few years, etc — and you're aligned.