Male brain dating

The way in which men focus would also explain why, likely at some point in your life, you have focused on a certain element of your life so intensely that other areas suffered. Maybe it was becoming fit, or starting a business, or dating a new woman. The singular focus on the one element made the other pieces fall away from your focus and so they suffered. Ironically, often the one element that you are focusing on also suffers.

Imagine that you were the sun, and instead of trying to grow an entire forest with your light, you focused all of your energy on one plant. The neglect of the forest would make for chaos, and the intensity of the focus would make the plant burst into flames.


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Have you ever focused so much energy on getting a phone number or a new girlfriend, that it ended up scaring the woman away? Male brains are wired to seek out challenge. The front line of our mental army is always on the look out for potential threats or challenges. This is the exact counterpoint to our front line that is looking for threats to independence and freedom.

The feminine wants love and connection, and the masculine wants freedom and independence. We need alone time. The feminine wants closeness, the masculine wants autonomy. Ideally, you need a partner that understands this or will be receptive to it when you let them know your needs. As men, we are more status minded. This means that in our day to day dealings with others, we are acutely aware of who has more power, control, or dominance over the other.

This is why, as a man associated with his masculine, it is much easier to speak in public and in group settings, than in a one on one situation with a girlfriend. Men are better at speaking in public, and women in private. So when our male brains come home from a long day of work and we look forward to not having to compete for status or dominate conversations, we can feel bothered by a partner that wants to hear about the random effluvia of our day.

We see her invitation to intimacy as a threat to our independence. The masculine also thrives when challenged. This is why men typically love working out, watching or playing team sports, or succeeding in a chosen career path — all of these examples are purely challenges and obstacles that have been overcome.

5 Tips To Hack The Male Brain: Understanding Men

Men are the most content when they have a lack of chaos or frustration in their paths. For the masculine, the ultimate goal is complete freedom. To enjoy the world, while being completely free from it.


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  • It is a very fulfilling experience for the masculine to be empty of thought, empty of emotion, and empty of desire. The moment after reaching climax in a sexual context is blissful for men because it is total emptiness. Feminine energy does not crave emptiness like the masculine. The feminine is drawn towards fullness.

    Fullness of experience, or desire, or emotion. The masculine drives you to drink alcohol to a point of numbness, whereas the feminine drinks in moderation to add more fullness to an occasion. The masculine drives you to bring sex to completion quickly so that you can be free of desire, whereas the feminine wants to continue sex to experience more connection and fullness. You want to speak as little as possible when you get home from work, and a woman wants to communicate as much as possible to narrow the gap of separateness that she feels.

    This is not something that we can change, nor will you want to when you have found a partner that thrives off of your masculine energy. More on this later.


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    • You could equate this as either feeling too weak to be there for her, or feeling shamefully undeserving of her feminine energy. This is also why when our work life is out of alignment, our relationships with our partner and friends often suffer. The masculine side of anyone male or female prioritizes career, whereas the feminine prioritizes love and intimacy. But this might be one of the largest misconceptions stemming from the U.

      Infidelities are most likely to occur before men hit 30, found a study of Bolivian men published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society in After that, men primarily focus on providing for their families, the study found. Of course, some men have a harder time with commitment than others — a problem which could be genetic, according to a study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science. Men without the "promiscuity gene," an estimated 60 percent of the population, are more likely to marry.

      But that's not all. Both they and their wives are also more likely to report relative marital bliss, the researchers found. Unfortunately, the association is so small, said the study's lead researcher Hasse Walum of the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, "you can't use it for screening potential mates. An unstable hierarchy can cause men considerable anxiety, Brizendine said. But an established chain of command, such as that practiced by the military and many work places, reduces testosterone and curbs male aggression , she said.

      Pre-occupation with establishing pecking order, which starts as early as age 6, motivates the "male dance, where they are always putting each other down," Brizendine added. The male brain becomes especially primed for cooperation in the months before becoming a father.

      Understanding Men

      Fathers-to-be go through hormone changes — prolactin goes up, testosterone goes down — which likely encourage paternal behavior, found a study in Evolution and Human Behavior. The pheromones of a pregnant woman may waft over to her mate to spur these changes, said Brizendine, who was not involved with the study. The expecting mom might be repaying a favor: Even before she is pregnant, male pheromones cause good-mom neurons to sprout in the female brain, found a study published in the journal Hormones and Behavior.

      Over the course of evolution, men have needed to compete for status and mates while young and emphasize bonding and cooperation when mature, Mehta said. Men seem to agree; and psychological studies have shown that one-upmanship holds less appeal for older men. Instead, they pay more attention to relationships and bettering the community, Brizendine said. The change is likely aided by the slow natural decline in testosterone as a man ages.

      10 Things Every Woman Should Know About a Man's Brain

      Mehta and colleagues found that men with high testosterone levels tend to be better at one-on-one competition, while those with lower levels excel at competitions requiring team cooperation. The study was published in the journal Hormones and Behavior in More research is needed in humans but in other male mammals, the "defend my turf" brain area is larger than their female counterparts, she said.

      While women too have fits of possessiveness, men are much more likely to become violent when faced with a threat to their love life or territory, she said. See Fight, Fight, Fight: The History of Human Aggression. While many studies suggest that women are more empathetic than men, Dr. Brizendine stresses this is not entirely true.

      5 Tips To Hack The Male Brain: Understanding Men - Jordan Gray

      The empathy system of the male brain does respond when someone is stressed or expressing a problem. But the "fix-it" region quickly takes over. As a result, men tend to be more concerned with fixing a problem than showing solidarity in feeling, she said. Robin Nixon was a staff writer for Live Science.