Should you be friends first before you start dating

The Background Sometimes dating is awesome see here. Other times, it can feel like you're lagging behind in the Superficial Olympics -- as you try to win the romance race and stand out as the most attractive candidate, you ultimately lose to a prettier face.

5 Things to Know Before Dating Your Best Friend

That's not always the case, but it can certainly feel like it. On the flip side, you might be so caught up in landing an attractive partner yourself that you overlook the great people who don't instantly catch your eye. So how do you break through romantic superficiality? A recent study provides some useful insight.

Date The Person Who Is Your Friend First And Someone You Can Love Second | Thought Catalog

The Setup Researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and Northwestern University brought in dating and married couples and asked them how long they had known their partner and how long they'd been romantically involved. The difference between each length of time was considered the period during which couples were friends or acquaintances before dating. After that, the couples were interviewed on camera so that a team of coders could "scientifically" rate how physically attractive they thought each person in the couple was on a scale of -3 very unattractive to 3 very attractive.

Sure, any partner could make you happy by showing up with flowers or taking you out for a nice meal, but it can take a while for someone to learn what truly makes you smile. Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.


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  • A Very Good Reason To Be Friends Before Dating, Courtesy of Science.
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  • 1. You Can Rely on Them.

Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to. While your friend may always have been there to console you after a messy break-up, they might not have been there for all of the bad times with your ex-partner.

The Teaching Ministry of Mark Ballenger

One of the biggest advantages to dating a friend is that they already know your bad habits — and you know theirs! If, after all of that, they still want to be not only your best friend but your partner too, you could be onto something really special…. Celebrate it together — it may just have made your best friend your soul mate.


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If you do, by all means take the plunge. It might be for you, if you think the above positives in the pro et contra exercise above outweigh the negatives. The positives really all boil down to speed. Here are some potential negatives to jumping into dating before befriending them first:.

Date The Person Who Is Your Friend First And Someone You Can Love Second

When you sacrifice patience for speed, you lose out on the benefits of taking your time. Fortune favors the bold, but only fools rush in. But seriously, if you have to choose between developing a friendship first, or dating first and trying to build a friendship that way, there are risks there too. Who knows, maybe the person you chose to date would have worked better as a friend, but dating them would now remove that option.