42 year old woman dating a 32 year old man
I am older than my husband by 6. We met when he was in his senior year of college and 22 and I was What matters is whether your levels of maturity match, not your calendar age. If it's okay for a man to date a woman five years younger, it's okay for a woman to date a man five years younger. You have been trained, by our culture, to see relationships between an older man an a younger woman as normal, and the opposite as abnormal. This is't how it actually works, though; plenty of women are with younger men, especially a gap of only five years. This shows the origin of this question.
You've been taught by our society that younger women are "better. This is, to be blunt, complete sexist bullshit. Having a girlfriend who is a few years older than you says nothing about you, but worrying about it does. It says you are insecure. A friend of mine started a relationship like that a couple of years ago. She was 29 when they started dating, I suppose. They got married two weeks ago. This sort of thing, as with almost any relationship, is almost entirely dependent on the people involved. A 5 year age difference when both parties are adults is totally fine and normal.
If you think this way already, what you are going to think when it's time for your friends to meet your girlfriend? Are you going to be embarrassed about her being 5 years closer to wearing Depends diapers or something? Of course its ok. But please make sure she never sees this question or knows about your concerns because it would be really hurtful and if I were her it would be amble reason to not date you or to dump you if I was. It would be okay if the man was 26 and she was 21 but the other way around feels too milfy, or cougarish.
Also, I'd just like to request that you and society as a whole work super-hard to unpack yourselves of this notion. If you could see your way clear. Because, "An age and power differential is okay as long as it's the man in power"? A 26 year old guy, dating a 31 year old woman, is it okay? As far as your references to "milfy" or "cougarish", ummmmmmm, I'm I'm not a mom or even vaguely matronly. You and I most likely have virtually identical life experiences and overall approaches to the world.
We like the same bands, watch the same TV shows and movies, and are nostalgic about the same Saturday morning cartoons. The age difference is perfectly acceptable, and i know plenty of successful couples with that type of age gap. You, on the other hand, sound immature and judgmental about both gender relations and age, and so it probably won't work out, unless your prospective girlfriend is willing to be considered milfy or a cougar, but she probably won't.
A five year age difference is of no consequence if the two people involved are at the same stage of maturity. This does not seem to be the case here. She needs to be dating someone more in her maturity bracket. You need to mature some more. I would never ever date a woman and not be proud of her, and hide her from my friends, it wouldnt be fair.
I haven't even asked her out yet but it seems like she wants me to. If I was in a relationship with her then I'd most certainly be happy with what she was posted by curious-mind at 2: Um, yes, it's fine. My 31 year old girlfriend says no, it is not ok. Like most things, it's okay with some people and not okay with others. If you want to date this woman, pursue that goal. The reason I asked this question about me being "okay" with dating an older woman, was reading a okcupid research article saying how most men compete for younger women, and there were guys in the comment section saying things like "Yeah if you can't get a younger woman its because you got priced out and you suck" I tried to not let it bother me but it did.
That as a statistic men chase younger women, and dating an older woman is looked upon as failing to be able to compete with other men. So far so good. He's not concerned about the difference at all. If you two really gel as a couple then people won't see a 5 year difference in your ages. Yeah, I think you're probably too immature for this relationship, dude.
Okay wait, you are making life decisions based on the internets comments section of a dating site article? Cut this shit out. Anyway, in my early-mid 30s I dated a guy very seriously for several years who was about four years younger. The reasons it didn't work out had nothing to do with our age gap.
Here's where it could potentially become an issue - if she wants to have children, she is facing a much steeper timeline than you are right now in life. Where two twentysomethings can wait and see where things go, maybe get married, maybe think about kids when it feels right - a couple in their 30's do have to face the reality that female fertility starts declining after So if you don't think you want kids in the next 10 years, and she does -- the relationship can't work in the long run. It sounds from your question and followups that you're focusing on a lot of superficial externals about how it might affect you rather than the heart of the matter - what is she looking for in you?
Gwyneth Paltrow is five years older than Chris Martin. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I know if I were in her year-old shoes I would want to know if I was seeing someone who used the word "cougar" seriously in any non-feline context, let alone applied to how others might view our relationship, has no problem with a double standard, i. If she doesn't know, I suggest you tell her. She might chose to make this a non-issue for you. I think it's just fine if a 26 year old man is dating a 31 year old woman. But, if we're talking about a 26 year old guy , I'm not so sure.
Just noticed that 15 comments have been posted since I started writing. I'm betting that I'm not the only one who is giving you grief about this question. Who do you want to date?
Her or other men? It's a fine age gap for anyone. Best of luck -- you're gonna need it. I tried to not let it bother me but it did. OK, I'm here to tell you: You know the saying, "Haters gonna hate"? You, sincere internet stranger who is making a valiant effort to figure this out, are not a statistic. You may plug into some venn diagrams every once in a while, but the value judgements you make for your own time in life need not be unduly influenced by lying numbers or hype and spin or anything other than your own notion of where the ship you and only you are steering is headed.
It is weird in the sense that it's not typical and it is something some people might look down on you for. Does that make it bad or a bad idea? I don't think so, but that's your decision to make. What people might think of you as a couple is just one of many factors that go into deciding whether to pursue a specific relationship. It's not wrong to consider it, either, but talking about it in this particular way reinforces a lot of gross sexist norms so I suggest not bringing it up like this around other people or around this woman.
Why do you care what's "normal"? Why do you care what other people think about your prospective relationship, or what they might think about you on the basis of who you date? While it's natural to wonder about the various consequences of a difference in age, I think your would-be sweetheart might be a bit taken aback to learn that you had to ask the Internet whether dating her would be "OK. Then of course there's the unnecessary stereotype that her being over 30 for five minutes means she is now turning at least some of her attention to baby-planning.
They haven't even gone on a date. I don't think kids need to be a factor in the dating process quite yet. I'm 26 years old and I've dated a number of women in their late 30s in the last few years. It's never been any kind of issue. On the other hand, at the tender age of 26 I think of myself as a grown man and I wouldn't lower myself to taking advice from a bunch of bros in the comment section of a dating website so maybe our experiences are very different.
For what it's worth - not much, by the way - some women my own age have told me that the fact that I was dating a 40 year old raised their opinion if me. But you should not be using the identity of the person you date as a status symbol because it's repulsive. Someone 5 years older than you is not old enough to be your mother, so "MILF" seems quite a bit off. My sister-in-law and my ex-sister-in-law are both five or six years older than my brother, and I don't think either relationship has had, or had, any issues relating to their age difference.
I don't know what to say about your apparent internalized belief that men "should be" older than their female partners or they'll lose status, except a it's certainly a widespread cultural meme in lots of places, and b in my experience, cultural memes like that are usually obstacles to creating relationships that work for you, not for random TV gossip shows or shock jocks or whoever. Since you are asking, and given the words you chose, she is too old for you. Older women tend to respect themselves more and have higher standards. In that sense dating an older woman reflects well on you.
Older women, because of their confidence and experience, also make better lovers. I would really encourage you to disabuse yourself of the subconscious misogyny you've indicated in your post and follow-ups so that you can be worthy of her interest. Plutarch, in his biography of Marc Antony, remarks that Cleopatra met Antony "at the very time when women have the most brilliant beauty.
Notwithstanding, what are YOU comfortable with? And the line about not able to attract a younger woman.. You fall in love with whom you fall in love with. When I was 34 I was dating a 27 year old. We had a lot of fun in the time we were together.
Our work was similar, we liked the same movies, the same books, we had the same political views, our musical tastes overlapped. Eventually he was transferred to another city and that was that, but we had a terrific time. No one, including the two of us, gave any thought to the age difference, because it was never evident. I am eight years older than my husband, and our respective ages have never been an issue between us.
Except when he makes fun of 80s music. People have already given your grief for describing yourself as a 26 year old boy and caring about the opinion of an anonymous bunch of dudes on OKCupid, so I'll spare you on that front. My question is regardless of your concerns, how is anyone even going to know you are dating a 31 year old unless you tell them?
Unless said women looks substantially older than 31 or you look substantially younger than 26, your age difference is unlikely to be identifiable by the general public that's making the rather generous assumption that anyone else is going to care. I didn't marry any of them or anyone else for that matter but they -- well all but one -- were great relationships, the shortest of which lasted almost 2 years and the longest almost 8 years.
I don't recall my age, or our age difference, being a factor. I primarily dated men younger than myself because those were the men that I happened to meet. I went to grad school at 31 and most of my classmates were years younger than I was. When I got out and got my first internship, same deal. I had more in common with them then men my own age who were already well-established in their careers, etc. Most of the time we found out each others ages after we started dating and it just wasn't an issue for either of us.
I'm 29 and my girlfriend is There are lots of advantages to dating a grownup. I wouldn't trade her for a year-old for anything, especially when I remember what I was like at Also, did you read that OkCupid article, or just the comments? Because the article, if I'm thinking of the same one you are, was about how awesome women in their 30s are, and how dumb it is that guys don't tend to date older women. And they had data to back up something women being awesome!
Honey, five years is an age gap when you are a child. Five years doesn't rate as an age gap when you are an adult. I skipped to the end. This must worry you for some reason, but it shouldn't. I remember a ton of lady-persons who were 31 at my 26 and I didn't give a rat's patoot about our respective ages. Be glad you've found someone you care about and who feels the same. I'm a 30 year old woman. I'd have no problem dating a 25 year old. As the bard said, love the one you're with.
If she's OK with you, you should be too. When I was in my early 30's, I had a short relationship with a woman in her early 20's. We weren't a good match and one of the things that stuck out to me was the difference in maturity. If you're thoughtful and mature and your are compatible, great, have a good time. You haven't even asked her out. Cart before the horse. I hope you've worked through your previous issues. I am in a three year relationship so far with a 36 year old man and I am I feel that he is more distant, and I believe that may be an issue though he does not directly say so. However, we do love each other and spend time with both of our families as well.
I think if we were to break up it would have less to do with our age gap than other things at this point. I think a woman has to have a very strong self confidence to date a handsome younger man. I think each situation is unique and all relationships have their difficulties. I do not regret anything about our relationship whether or not it will stand the test of time. Thank you very much for your insightful article…and the comments from other people are quite informative. To my sweet precious and perfect young lover: I love you so much.
And there is a future for you…the ups and downs of your innocent youth. Thank you for thinking i was beautiful. And by ending us, you have a chance to fulfil your dreams. I am 28 and my girlfriend is We are so happy we have each other. We are going to get marriage soon. I hope older women are Carin and sexy. I have promised myself not to date any one younger than I am………. I would rather date someone who 20 years older and be happy and safe than dating someone younger and crying at the end, besides age means nothing what matters is the love and mutual understanding between both parties.
Biggestmistake you can make. This is a warning for younger guys with older women….. I have never found a man my age has anything in common with me I have dated men 5 or 6 yrs older and their generally male chauvinist and control feels. I have found my best relationships are with men 5 to 10 yrs younger does this make me a freak.
Once people have kids and have a career going why should it matter. The problem I have now is all the men who want someone in my age group want me to quite my job and spend all my time on them. I am going to have to work til I am in my 70s if I plan on having any cushion. I am a baby boomer and there are almost no one in my age group. For 70 yr old men a relationship is about them. I love him never loved any man like I love him! I am attracted towards a lady who is like almost 6 — 7 years older than me. I am like in late 20s and she is in late 30s I believe.
Older Women Dating Younger Men: Doomed from the Start or Happily Ever After in Cougarville?
I am really in love with her sweet voice and elegant personality. Her cuteness and politeness has just crushed me …. I am really in awe of her…. She is well educated, highly experienced and skillful in her profession like of Senior Management Cadre and I am like a junior level person in the organization. She regards high of me and has praised me couple of times but strictly for professional reasons since we never communicated so much on personal level as such as I also find it necessary to maintain decorum in the office.
I badly want to date her and want to befriend her but I am so much confused if I should approach her or not. BDW she is single according to my sources but I am not sure if she is seeing anyone or whether she would approve of this all craziness. Is it just an infatuation???
I am attracted towards a lady who is like almost 8 years older than me. I am like 24 and she is in mid 30ies I guess. The bad thing is she just left I badly want to date her and want to befriend her but I am so much confused if I should approach her or not. I am really confused… I can only hope that if she gets to read this message she realizes herself and approach me… I swear I would grab it like kids do with chocolate.
I am a young 74 and have always attracted much younger men. I have found the real love of my life in a 44 year old Jamaican American who determinedly pursued me and won me. He has no ulterior motives…our sex life is unbelievably wonderful and he is intelligent, funny, deeply caring and my dearest friend. I am oblivious to the opinion of others….. I have had a successful relationship with a man 7 years younger. He was 25, I was Recently I was pursued by the male nurse who is taking care of me from time to time at home.
He is a very distant distant relative….
How Young is Too Young to Date?
We have lots in common and traveled together lots and have lots of fun. The problem is that he is 17 years younger…. We talked about getting a surrogate. We talked about marriage. I feel like settling down and maybe having one kid but I am not sure this man is the long haul type even though we have lots in common and share a lot of similar life experiences growing up and feels deep connections with each other. He said he never met anyone like me who understood him and accepted him with all his shades of grey. I never met anyone with so much complexity in his character. I am 27 years old and have now been dating a 41 year old lady.
She is so Beautiful. She has a perfect body. She works out three times a week. That is how I meet her. She has 3 kicks from a 17 year long marriage that ended in a bitter divorce. I could go on for hours about how well we get along and how I think I might be a little in love with her. So we have been seeing each other for about six months. We became intimate the first time we went out.
The problem we have now is that she is pregnant. Yes yes yes she warned me but I, I guess did not take her seriously. I am not sure of this or anything right now. I mean everything is good now but what about ten years form now. I mean how about 20 years from now. I like older women but I like younger women and women my age as well. I just alway thought that I would marry a girl my age and be married a couple of years before we had kids. I mean I am not I love with thus woman that is going to have my baby. What do I do. Hi guys I really want some mature woman …as I feel they have the deep understanding of life and love.
I feel love is what we feel love is for whom we care about. Am I right marni. He is a wonderful man very gentle and kind. We have been together a year. Very happy and in love. He has no problem with the age difference but I do. He is in college and working 3 jobs. My career was successful and am newly retired. I feel he is just starting a life I have already made for myself. As it is there is no way he can financially take care of our needs even with my financial resources its tight to take care of my needs plus many of his. I care so much for him but worry about the future and if 10 years down the road will he wake up and reality hit about the age difference now be an issue.
At that pt he will be young enough to find someone else while at my age not so easily. Never dated a younger man and appreciate your professional opinion. Also, with good genes, no wrinkles. For all the obvious reasons, I fought the attraction for weeks — until he won. Well, actually we both won.
The year age difference bothers me, but him not at all. Our relationship began 12 months ago and it continues …. Very informative article, some great comments. I am 38 and my husband is We met and began dating 3 years ago. We have been married or 7 months. I love this man and am so thankful that I have been blesed with such an amazing husband! Prior to meeting my husband I was married to my ex for 16 uears. He was a lying manipulative drug addict.
We had two boys together. We love and respect one anoher unconditionally and our age difference is never an issue outside of my sometimes insecure moments. We are very open and encouraging to one another. Age has never played a role in our love for one another. Anyhoo, we were hanging out as friends for about two months, and I started to become seriously attracted to him. And gave me the best sex of my life! As I said to him last night: Life is full of surprises!
Thanks for the article…age is realy nothing,as long you love and respect each other,life goes on! Thanks for the articles…age is realy nothing,as long you love and respect each other,life goes on! I am 26 dating a 19 year old. We have a fabulous relationship. There are times when it feels as though I hold the parent role though. Given his age, I cut him more slack than I would a guy of my age. I know that he cannot provide for me right now. However, I have no doubt that he can in the future.
I am not sure what to do.
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I am moving back home to another state. He cannot come yet due to school and that he does not have his own car or enough money. He insists that he wants to get a full time job, save money an move to b with me. Should I break things off or should I expect that this could really work out.
He will be Can I expect him to seriously want to settle down, become married and have children? He says he will want these things but I question that because of his age. I need a lot of advice. I get really happy to find out so many older women are dating younger men because it lessens my competition.
There is nothing more amazing for me to have such young love and now with the internet, I get pictures practically whenever I want them. Thank you young men for taking yourselves off the market and making my dreams that much easier to achieve. I currently in love with a man 17 years my junior. We have had our share of difficulties. I think the main problem is I am a alpha women. Calling him all day,leaving my job in the middle of the day for sex. It maybe to late for me. It looks like some of the words got changed by correction in my article above..
I am 49 and my boyfriend is I stumbled across this site and am glad I did. We have been dating 10 years! I have two older kids he gets along with well and things were great until recently when alot of his friends started to have kids. We have discussed me having another but due to a medical condition that was stolen from us.. I love him with my soul and he does me,but what I feel is who am I to take that from him? Although he says he d rather have me over kids I deeply feel he would eventually hate me for him never having his own.
Old what to do. So much love,time and history to just throw away,yet at the same time how can I be selfish and hold him back from that. I was so apprehensive to even start to date him but ten yrs later I love him and him me just as the first day.. I risked alot to date him and looks like love or not I will end up alone in this. Just talk thoroughly about kids if u enter into a Dec May relationship.. Hi I have just started dating a younger guy he is 28 and iam At first i was dubious meeting him as he is not yet here i met him on holiday in Egypt.
He is Egyptian and gorgeous guy kind loving and vv matue for his age and i love that abt him he has his head screwed on. We have been married 2 yrs and 6 months i got married over there to him as he cannot come here yet. But let me tell u ladies out there dating a younger guy is gd you feel young as well.
I go to c him as often as i can a nd spend 3 glorious weeks wiv him our relationship is great in all aspects we have gd sex life we trust each other and we understand each othe rand have a lot in common. I have 2 kids from my previous marriage, son is 16 daughter is 19 i am worried when he finally does come here i want them to accept him eventually as they have never met him. What advice can u give me on that i really want them to accept him oneday. I am 64 and divorced 22 years.
I am very attractive, fit, financially secure, and look early 40s. I did not start my career until I was 50 so I am also in the middle years of a career. I have always dated younger men 7 years to 28 years. They ask me out. I was in a 25 year marriage and have wonderful children and grandchildren. I am now dating just for fun and incredible physical attraction a 38 year old man. He was married once and does not want to marry again. We are in the same place liberal, easy going, health oriented and have a lot in common.
Fun, playful, and sexy. The trick to this is knowing what you need. Why would I date a 60 year old man who is insecure, resentful, wants to settle down and needs Viagra? Every young man I have been with was the oldest and alpha. More alpha than the older men. My new theory is that so long as neither party wants children and both are over 35 — we are all adults.
Twenty-something men can be immature, and probably not that sexually experienced. Of course, no reason he might not be interested in a woman under 35 if they both want children. A 40 year old man who wants children should be dating a younger woman. And I hate the word cougar. As bad as gold digger. He is very keen to pursue a relationship, I am more wary.
He prefers the company of older woman, and likes that I am self confident and independent. I have been very honest with him but he is still pursuing me. Im in a relationship with a guy 15years younger. Im very happy, if feel loved. Never had the plessure of dating an older guy. Im Always attracting younger man. Cant say It dies nit frustrates me. Thanks for the article It realy help in boosting My confidence and also Through the comments from others whose been in This particular relationship.
I knw i should Be Open minder. Im Just taking One step at a time. I am currently dating a man 25 years younger. My friends make fun of me and my kids are freaked out. But once you find an amazing intellectual connection, you just have to go with it. We are compatible intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually. And we found out in that order. He lives miles away for now, so we also have our own long distance challenges. I just wish my children would respect the fact that I am a grown woman and allowed to make my own choices. I respect them and devoted my life to them, making huge sacrifices along the way.
Cougars are older woman who look for young men for sex.
Older Women Dating Younger Men: Doomed from the Start or Happily Ever After in Cougarville?
That is quite offensive to those of us who are older women and have a long term serious relationship with a younger man. Kranz gmaildot com …. I am 25 years old and my gf is I do love her but Idk how to get over the age thing. I think that motherhood is very stressful sometimes and your girlfriend might be going through some tough changes, maybe at work also.
Thanks Marni and all the guys that have made comments. After my divorce a year ago, I went out on a couple of dates but never felt the connection I felt with him. Thank you for sharing! I am currently dating guy that told his true age that his is 20 yrs old. When we first met he told me that he was 24 ys old. But I he explain to me he lie because he was afraid I wouldnt talk to him he stated to me that he likes dating older women that he had alway dated older women. I love his compaionship and he is mature for his age but deep down he is really young for me and he makes me feel good in all areas and not afraid to be with me I am 40 I dont have any children really have medical issues that I might not have children..
I want a longterm commitment and be happy. I am 43 turning 44 October. I constantly wonder when they will go back to younger girls. I have been lied to and w their tons of attempts to be used as the other woman, I have lost all faith in there being the one for me. What really worries me is the age different, how can I over come it. We have a lot in common.
I found my wife on a dating website 8 years ago when I was 28 and she was She had insecurity about dating me, but I assured her that I was okay with her age. Well, back then…I was. Now I am bored to death. And then she gets frustrated and plays with her sex toys. Besides, she is physically slowing down a lot these days, gaining weight, and I just want to do things and be active.
Our lives are different, and it seems to be going downhill. I feel horrible because I made a marriage covenant with her, but all I think about is being with someone my age or slightly younger. Bored to death with an older woman, and wish I could start over. That is the single most frustrating factor in our relationship. He is immature… In practically everything.
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I have to sit and watch him make a mistake or some long winded argument about something we disagree on… when I already know where the road leads. He has a lot to learn about life which sometimes makes me feel more like a big sister than a girlfriend. Otherwise he will hold us up arguing about which direction to flee. I just started dating a guy who is 15 years younger than me. It is funny to hear that with an older man you have more chances of a good long-term relationship. In my case, I had an older boyfriend and he was cold, treacherous and lied to me…not to mention sex quality. However, I have dated younger men and they usually are more honest about their feelings, more innocent in their love, and sex is great.
With young men this question does not arise, you just live the moment. Well, this is my humble opinion. I use to give my older sister grief about her younger boyfriend. I guess I was also. However, here I am 14 months deep in a relationship with a 21 year old. I really fought it.. What will people say?? Will I end up parenting him? Will our families accept it?? I took my time. We dated first which honestly rarely happens anymore. He kept asking to if we could eventually label it but i was still weary. Something i kind of meant. One day after 3 months of dinners movie nights and yes, over nights I realized ummm, I was all ready there.
We are on the same level once you stop seeing yourself as an old wise woman and can See past the age barrier. You open up this door like any relationship friendship into a new person. Hes Not living the dorm life. Not some crazy kid looking to get laid. They are out there though and They exist in any age group. I dont really see him as a number anymore. Because his maturity and other characteristics dont scream juivenile.
In any relationship there are obstacles but you truly can not determine someones relationship worthiness by their age. I dont own a home in Cougarville but i can tell you things are good on the other side of the fence.. After the fact, my friend learned that the much younger guy was cheating on her because their sex drives were different and she was like a mom. The other problem was that the woman, my friend, had all the money.
Also, even though she was older, her boyfriend complained about how immature and flirty she was. The other couple, also age difference fairly big, was fine. I found this out the hard way. I think I would be ok with it at my age, but when the opportunity came up I said no. Sure, why not fun for a little while, but then what? To each their own! But I learned that whoever has money has to be careful about getting taken advantage of — man or woman- and there are jerks at every age. I hate generalizations that older women are better, younger men are better, etc. I think it might be easier for us to relate to people who are older or younger because we treat them differently.
We treat older with more respect as opposed to someone young who is just as clueless as any other young person. And a difference at 30 years of age and 50 years of age relationship or 40 and 60 as the ages, is different than 20 and 45, or even 18 and I agreed to date a younger boy because we both knew he would be leaving by the summer to another state. Unfortunately, by about 5 months into our relationship, I caught feelings, then I felt love for him, by the time the week came for him to move away, I was head over heels in love and heart broken because he was leaving.
Due to financial issues, he was only able to stay out there for one month before he came BACK! Now, he is not an evil person. I love him to death but he is from an old fashioned family, they instilled this notion that a man must marry an younger woman to keep him young. I guess my question is, how do I find the strength to let him go? What do I do? My blood cousin who is 41 is dating my 23 year old step brother. Puts the whole family in the middle of there relationship.
It makes alot of the family feel uncomfortable. A question for you… What if they break up? What if they get married? That has put our family in a really awkward position. His aunt would now become his mom and his mom would now become his aunt??? The same thing would then apply to her And I still would not be able to have a friendship or bond at all with my brother. Who cares about age? If both people are single at the time when meeting, live it up and enjoy life while you can.
I met a young man a year ago. He said he was older and I said I was younger. We clicked and one night ended up being a lot of nights together.. I quickly worked out he was much younger 20…. Time passed a year later…in fact Last week we had the strangest argument over nothing which led him to or about to tell me he how he felt about me.
I stopped him and blurted out that i was 48 not He laughed but was thinking deeply. I told him that our relationship had limits.. I could never meet his parents. After a few minutes he said.. Because in the end.. We clicked and one night ended up spending a lot of time together..
I could never meet his family nor he mine. However, the contrary can be the case once you decide to get married to someone older than you. An older woman will always want to appear superior even when they actually know that they are not. I am now When I was 39 I met mat. It started out as a little summer fling. Well 4 months into it I fell pregnant.
I had our first at 40 and our second at We are having problems now that I think can not be fixed. I will warn you of the age difference. We have had more downs than ups. And yes babies make it harder. Hi, I am 33 years young, good body, good heart, caring, passionate, good listener, honest, and soul winning. I only want true woman with true love. Age has nothing to deal me but your inner beauty is very important which is your heart.
My problem is I am black and some women look down on me. Please tell me what can I do? Is there any woman in this world who will ever accept me for who I am? I was born in Africa and still lives in Africa but not a gold digger,just looking for a good partner who can complete me. Maybe my miracle can come this time. I had past long relationships with older men but none of them worked. I never liked the term cougar cause I have never ever preyed on younger men. This guy is my first younger man relationship and I have made a tremendous amount of thinking before plunging in this relationship.
He has pursued me but we have been friends for 2 years prior. I can say that ours worked because i think he has an old soul and I have a young spirit and we meet halfway. I also was not married, no kids. Ihave never really had a problem at all about us and never given a flying fuck what my family and friends have thought as I live the life I want. It has taken its toll on him as I also found myself unemployed after years of earning a high wage, he supported me for 3mths while I was unemployed, as I supported him at one stage too.
Now that im back working part time he made an agreement with the family to end our relationship to which we are about to do as I agreed to it because of his family pressure. Marni, Thanks for the great article. I would appreciate yo insight in to my situation. I turned 40 three months ago, recently divorced with 2 kids. I have met a lovely young man who will be turning 36 later in the year. He is at a stage where he is wanting to settle down and have his own family.
But he is still studying to be a doctor and has 3 more years to go. He has been honest from the very beginning about the fact that he wants to start a family soon but he is not comfortable with the fact that he is not in full time employment yet. The other concern he has raised is the fact that age seems to be against us and he wishes to have his first baby with me soonest.
My main concern is that we have just begun our relationship and now there is the issue of the biological clock ticking ; he has been honest to tell me he wishes to have 2 kids. I fear that we may rush to a commitment and having children and then later on he realises it was a rushed decision yet he so much wishes to settle down right at this moment. Call them Cougars, call them awesome women, one thing is for sure: I trust them far more than younger women.
Im married to an amazing woman thats 8 years older than me. The sex is perfect we do our best to please eachother and for 10 years and going we are happy. Sure having a familly has its ups and downs but through our solidarity,friendship and love we managed to turn negatives into positives and succeed in live and careers….
He is sweet kind and caring though after three months I feel like his interest may be waning he used to. I am worried that as I become more attached he is becoming more disinterested. I really appreciate it…: Hello, I am 46, I get told I look 33, and my boyfriend is We have been dating and living together for a couple of months. We both have stated our needs.
I have already been married and have children older than him. As i said we have discussed this. I am his second love but first as an adult. He is mature for his age. I have never felt so loved by a guy before. I feel amazing with him and he says he loves me and I am amazing too. I am a bit curious if the relations of others in our lives will frown on this.
My kids and his mom. His mom does not know about me. That does hurt a bit, I want him to be open about this. Should we tell anyone about our relationship? We cannot help who we love. We get along great and we compliment each other. It helps that we have music and movies to name a few things in common. I am trying to keep an open mind in-case he does want to move on.
But we have talked openly about this. So we both know. Help we are in love but too nervous to tell anyone that might be upset. Thank you for your question! My advice is to have a conversation with her. Ask her what she wants for her future. Share with her what you want. See if those two visions meet somewhere in the middle. And please let me know how it goes!! Thank you so much for your comment! And I agree with you, trust and respect are paramount to a healthy and happy relationship. Please keep reading and commenting! It sounds like the two of you should have a conversation about the future.
Ask him what he sees for himself over the next few years, and listen to his answer. The best solution here is to have an honest and open conversation! Its encouraging to read about others success with May-December romances! I was unhappily married to a man my same age for 12 years. I am currently living with a gorgeous man who is 15 yrs younger than me.
He is divorced with one child. He was the one that pursued me, and the one that moved the relationship from the casual stage to talking about spending our lives together. I cannot agree more with the suggestions about keeping your feminine, allowing them to be the alpha male, and letting them lead and help you in your life. With my younger man I accentuate my feminine by cooking for him, making his lunches, ask him for help with things around the house, let him pay for all of our food, our entertainment, etc. I ask his opinion, I often follow his advice.
We debate routinely over differences of opinion, we both apologize to each other for things we do wrong, and neither of us makes a major decision without including the other. My decision to give into my feminine and let him lead me is no different than the way my mother interacts with my father who is 8 yrs older than she is. They have been happily married 47 years. She is neither weak, nor stupid… she just knows the value of embracing her feminine and supporting my fathers need to be a man. I am softer, kinder and happier than I have ever been before letting my younger man take the lead.
Marni, First, great article, stuff like this is what makes the internet great, and thank you for the insight. Maybe you can offer insight….
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This is my first trip into a relationship where the calendar number differs more than character. And I mean that. Our last evening out was very touchy feely, and I was getting good vibes off of her. According to her, the only thing she has a hang up on is the age difference. I am 35 years old and there is this guy, who is 23 years old that I really like. I am divorced and that really hurted me and closed me up to many things. So I recently decided I am ready and he is the first one I have liked for so long. I really want to get married and have a family, and I really like him, I am just not sure we could make it together.
BTW he is serious about this. After a separation and a failed 7 years relationship, met him. I have 3 children ages 17, 12 and 3. We meet when ever he is in town. I want to thank every one who posted on this site, your experiences and comments have been of great help to me. I thank the host for providing proffessional advice on dating younger man. I believe our relationship will work out because we have alot in common.
I believe that trust and respect are vital in any relaionship. I have been dating a guy who is 28 — I am We are coming up to our first anniversairy. I think it has lasted as long because we have had no expectations or put any demands on each other. However we have loved every minute together, never argue and are absolutley in love for the first time for both of us. We never feel any age issues although I have a very young outlook so mix with his friends and party like I used to but need much more recovery time plus have my own kids to look after.
Sadly he is leaving to move to Canada next year and I would never stop him as it was always his plan and he needs to lead his life. I cant imagine how devastated I will be at that time. After so many years and many many admirers, I have never felt the wish to let myself get into a romantic relationship unless he is THE ONE. Whilst age doesnt matter — life plans do.
And my man is 35 years old. We have a very hot and heavy relationship. He likes to sweeze my tits, my ass… every part of my body. And it makes me feel good! He fucks me right, he licks me right, he eats me right… He makes a woman feel good!! So yaw need to find one like I got!! Hopefully that gets the lines of communication flowing so the two of you can work toward a compromise! I met my friends neighbor a few months back, and was immediately smitten with him. He currently lives with his older sister temporarily and we all know each other, hang out, go out, all get along, etc…. I did not know the feeling was mutual until we were at my friends one night having a few drinks and he kissed me.
It just progressed from there. At first I was bothered by the age difference, but not so much now. What are his needs and wants, and how can you create a solution together? I am 40 and my boyfriend is 21 we have been together two years , he has just now decided to start trying to tell my kids what to do.. Love him but they are not going to listen to him do i cut my losses and run? I would just advise you that not all men are going to have that same issue about age and children. I have been thru 2 divorces and 1 long term relationship.
I have 2 grown children. He currently is going thru a divorce with no children. We met accidentally and both were in awe of each other. I have never met anyone like him. After a few serious dates he drops me over the kid issue. I just never thought age could matter, but to him it does. Please keep reading and commenting, and let me know if you have any questions! It sounds like your boundary is working for you, I just warn you against being too strict with it. You never know, you could meet a super sophisticated, content, successful, and experienced 37 year old. I am 42 and have never dated a man younger than me, until recently.
I actually usually attract men 10 to 15 years older than me. Within the last six months though, I have been approached by several guys who look to be at least in their mid to young 30s. I decided to give one guy who is actually 13 years younger than me a chance because he actually has been trying for at least 3 to 4 years our families know each other. I must say that I am truly enjoying the experience but am nervous about the age issue.
Your article has been extremely helpful. I love the idea of staying in my feminine. Thank you for the article. As a 49 yr old, I find myself attracted to younger men because I have more energy than men my age, or those slightly older. A younger man who is 40, or 41 or 42, is at a different place than someone 30, 31 or They have spent time on their careers; they may have already been married once. So younger is all relative in terms of where each person is.
I would date someone in their low 40s, but not someone who is more than 10 yrs younger. The life stage and relationship readiness differences are too great. Zita, I have not experienced a younger man yet but I agree with you, it depends on the individuals involved in the relationship. Peter — I can feel your passion on this subject. Kids and age are two things that need to be talked about on a couple by couple basis. What happens when he wants kids?? What do you tell him?? He makes me smile and we have been together for 4 months.
Trust me by the way he looks he can date anyone and I am very secure plus nobody believes I am 32 I do look We age well in my family. But He is attracted to me being secure and confident. If we have any disagreements we get over it pretty quickly and laugh about it. We still till this day act like we just started dating. We click so well and talk about everything. Trust me we both were concerned about our ages but our friends and families are okay with it. Good luck to all but trust me it took a not for me to consider dating him. Hey if older men can date younger women why not us?: I am 25, dating a woman who is I have spent good times with her two children, 11 and I recently purchased a beautiful home, will fund it myself, and see it as a potential homestead.
As mentioned in your article, the older woman is emotionally secure and has a good bearing on who she is. A man at any age desires to feel admired and needed by the woman he loves. An older woman may be fully self-sufficient, but she would do well to understand how her man is hard-wired. There you have a winning combo. Have you seen the statue of Atlas in front of Rockefeller Center, Manhattan? What is Atlas without his globe? I have never really dated anyone my age or older since I turned I am now 51 and still dating younger.
My relationship now is wonderful, he is 20 years younger and we are as happy can be. But I am continuing on. Just keep an open mind, stay in your feminine and graciously receive. Good luck and keep me posted! Keep reading and commenting! This article came at the perfect time. I just met a really wonderful man who is 13 years younger than me. I am dating a younger man. Took me some convincing. Fear that he will leave me for prettier and younger, more fit.
I see him checking out girls sometimes. I also am his first love. I try to be present and experience everything. Once i gave my jealous the boot and started to believe him, we get along great. We just celebrated our anniversary — the first one i have every had but ive never been married either. And thats my first celebrated anniversary??? He would marry me if i let him.