Christian teenage dating kissing

You can explain that you are attracted to her—which may be an insecurity of hers—but you want to honor her and get to know her in a non-physical way.

Kissing and Limits. Lesson 8 in "Teen Issues: Friendship, Dating and Sex"

As mentioned, there are different kinds of kisses. There are also different situations in which kissing can occur.

For example, our premarital class for people who are engaged or seriously dating encourages couples to sign a purity pledge that lists out a range of different physical activities, from holding hands to sex and everything in between. Light kissing might be allowed, whereas kissing the neck or any place other than the lips or cheeks is considered a step too far. Kissing can kill conversation. This is one of the very practical reasons to wait: If making out becomes a major part of your time together, it can cut short that process of getting to know each other in a non-physical way.

Conversation builds the foundation. There will be plenty of time for all of that after you get married. I do know people, myself included, who wished they had waited longer. Again, I know for some people this kind of talk might sound crazy. How Far Is Too Far? Why Not Live Together? When Should You Kiss in Dating? The sad reality of many Christian kids is that for the most part, they pick up what they know the same way they pick up the common cold: Are you uncomfortable talking with your kids about their natural God-given!

Ask God to help you get over it because you are the primary source from whom God intended your children to learn what they need to know.

When Should You Kiss in Dating?

Before trying to answer the question of what is appropriate, there is another question that is more fundamental to this conversation. Are we going to be biblical Christians, or are we going to consult our own reasoning and feelings first, extrapolating from them what we should teach our children? If we are to be biblical Christians we must conform our lives to what the Bible says, regardless of where our feelings and human reasoning would take us.

Does God require faithfulness and purity in marriage? Marriage is sacred and it is, according to the Bible, between a husband and wife. When speaking with Christian singles, I like to ask this question. The response is always the same. In our day, though, most young people meet the opposite sex long before their wedding day, and they have ample opportunity to spend time alone together.

Lesson 8: Kissing and Limits

Biology being what it is, however, your question is a crucial one. The Bible does give general principles that help, such as the basic command to keep our bodies pure from sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6: As for defining exactly where the line should be drawn, the Bible doesn't say. But I've reached some conclusions based on my understanding and experience—and a lot of data. Thousands of people have shared their experiences with me over the years.

And I've spent many years pondering a Christian view of sex. I'd start by asking: We know what sexual intercourse accomplishes, but why hug, kiss, touch, hold hands? The only good answer I know is, "To express our love. The alternative—not touching—would feel cold.

There's another side to that answer, though, that people sometimes forget. If you love someone, you don't want to do something that will hurt him or her emotionally, or hurt your relationship. So the question becomes, "How do I express my love in a way that's not harmful to either of us, or to our relationship? Don't do anything that either one of you will feel ashamed of. Even if you think you shouldn't feel ashamed, you do—and shame can destroy a person's confidence, not to mention ruin a relationship. Don't do anything that tends to dominate your relationship.

Even an activity many people consider harmless—kissing—can turn into long wrestling matches that take up all the time and energy you have together. Physical expressions of love should be brief and to the point. They shouldn't eliminate more important ways of communicating, such as talking. If the trend in your relationship is toward less talking and more kissing, you are off track.

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Don't do anything you're not sure of. It's tempting to experiment. You think, We'll try this, and if we don't like it we'll quit. But bodies don't work that way. They're always pushing us forward, and they make it very difficult to go back. Once you've started doing a certain activity, you'll almost certainly continue until you break up. Don't do anything that makes the other person feel uncomfortable.

Is Kissing before Marriage Really a Sin?

You're expressing love, remember? How could you express love by talking someone into trying something he or she fears? Don't do anything that would lead you to believe that your body is not precious and private. There's a reason why your sexual organs are called "private parts. When that sense of privacy is invaded, it hurts the person. When you're dating, you have to know that you might not stay together forever.

And how will it be for you or your partner, knowing that someone who no longer cares for you has explored those private places? And at what cost? Don't do anything that could cause you to lose your self-control. It's a biological fact that our bodies want to go all the way.


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They push forward with just the slightest encouragement. That's God's design, and it's good. It helps create the powerful bonds of marriage. However, it can also be dangerous.

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It can and does make people do things they swore never to do, deeds that make them sick with guilt when they realize what they've done. Don't push the limits of self-control, and ask God to help both of you maintain that control. You don't want to engage in activities that put you into the danger zone. Don't do anything that leaves you feeling frustrated. If you get too aroused, it doesn't feel good to stop.

In fact, it feels lousy. What's loving and romantic about doing something that leaves one or both of you feeling frustrated?

Don't do anything that you will be ashamed to tell your husband or wife on your wedding day. The odds are very good you will marry someone else. Even engaged couples break up—and pretty often, actually. What's loving about an activity that will take away from the joy of the most wonderful day of your life?

When I put all this together, I come up with one simple guideline: Stick to holding hands and occasional brief kisses —no tongues, no frenching.