Funny online dating intros

If not, I could seductively come up behind you and teach you. I like being big spoon. What were we talking about? Also, checking out an adult film on my laptop and calling my friend derogatory names. One time I threw a football so hard, I almost dropped my whiskey, but I was able to catch it with my elephant trunk of a penis. Says it covers my dependents too. Any interest in filling that opening? Seeing them, climbing them, smelling them. I like the thin air of it all.

I also like playing basketball and dancing. Team Sports that involve running are good. I have a neglected string-guitar named Calypso, who now only has They make me nauseous.

Some of the Most Hilarious Online Dating Profiles - Must Hate Cider | Guff

Wasteland, by Dan Bern, is the best song of the past 15 years live version only. The studio version sounds neutered. You are beautiful, kind, compassionate, intelligent, witty, wonderful, giving, generous, self-assured, modest, humble, outgoing, shy, etc.

Or if you just want to give me something valuable, like eternal wisdom, a free ticket to Paris, or a house. This guy comes off as a solid, down-to-earth, sweet gent with a great sense of humor.

Online Dating Profile

But in no way is he a pushover or worse yet, boring. When he describes what he enjoys, he does it in a way that the vision is clear. I can see the mountain, the banjo and even taste the bananas. He has stimulated my sense and women appreciate that ability in a man. He brings to light his positive attributes and makes light of his quirky preferences.

I want to get to know him, and meet his banjo and guitar insert wink.

The Funniest Dating Profiles (Tinder)

Hook the reader in without giving away everything—good going Mr. I love to listen to smooth jazz music as I relax on my back patio. I loooove to sing Luther Vandross songs. Also, I would love to be blessed with the lady of my life. Want to know more??? Hate being told lies??!! I receive messages frequently but I do respond quickly. A few things important to me: Jesus Christ, God, music, movies, laughter, sex, and peace of mind. If you win my sweepstakes, you will automatically win a chance to do these things with me as well.

He represents the kind of guy that will keep me in stitches and feeling good. Including your specific sense of humor is important. The eDatingDoc is to the rescue…. I love to live an active life and explore. I am very passionate about helping others and I am currently in the process of putting together a fundraiser to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis by climbing Mt.

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The climb is also being dedicated to one of my patients that I have become very close to who loves adventure and mountains although unfortunately his lung function prevents him from chasing his dreams due to the high altitude. Old fashioned to a certain degree. I laugh every chance I get. I have a love for the outdoors and anything that involves me being on the water. This guy likes to keep things short, and sweet yet what he writes about is compelling. Showing compassion towards others is a very positive character trait that will win you points with women.

Roses are red, violets are blue…. To wrap things up: Take my Online Dating Analyzer Quiz help with your exact next step…. But as far as dating profiles go…. A mix of seriousness added in would make these profiles perfect! These guys have revealed very little about who they are, in a sense. I bet they would be worth meeting! I know the post was a bit long because of the examples so I think you may have skipped several awesome profiles. You say these profiles reveal very little about themselves. I see a bit of mystery as a good thing, no a great thing.

What more do you think they should reveal? You also seem to be implying that if a guy is a serial killer or a bank robber that he is going to list it in his profile. Guys know women are extremely judgemental creatures and will judge everything and anything about a guys profile. We keep ourselves a mystery partly because women like that and partly because we are afraid we might say something about ourselves that will make a woman judge us and never even wish to meet us.

One caveat to this though Dustin is that too many guys are complete pushover pleasers and are scared to mention even the main things they find most important for fear of running off a girl. When I stopped trying to please everyone and learned to communicate my main needs without worrying about who I was going to push away, I started attracting the type of women that I really fit with. Another issue with playing it safe and trying to cast a wide net is that you force the girl to switch her screening process over to depend more heavily on superficial things like looks, height etc.

I definitely agree with you to keep things mysterious but think getting some core things down are better than being super generic. Not sure how other dating sites do it though.

Some of the Most Hilarious Online Dating Profiles

Dustin and Mike are spot on. Best to keep things brief. I find most men on match to have redundant and boring profiles, which may or or may not be an indicator of what they will be like in person. Which site are these guys on? Lol and why did you remove the 2 top secret profiles? Most men DO have boring profiles. What happened to the Top Secret profiles?

I find the opposite is true Tony. Women are very attracted to intelligence. What makes you think that?

There are many types of intelligence. Was I being a smart ass? Did I really listen? Did I make them feel stupid with my lack of tactfulness? Can you give some tips or examples, how to have a good profile intro? Howdy Marcel — I added a ton of new examples to the Academy Course. I have to keep some things for the Academy Members. I posted two profiles with virtually identical, non-descript headlines, listing all the things that had happened to me online turned into quite a psycho-rant before it was axed!

Whilst I got some comments with my own picture complaining how harsh I was being…. So your saying a male model got more emails than you did with the same profile. Uhhh — Not sure what you proved there other than male models attract women……. How about I do a free in-depth video profile critique for you as long as I can show it on my site.

I tried to help him but no dice. I would totally take that challenge. I loved this article!! Now, can you create the same but for women?? Pretty please wish sugar on top?? Then, yesterday, I read this really great profile. Want love and matchmaking services. Solutions matchmaking is a find more Learn, but funny personal dating. Down below are things in the speed meeting icebreaker usually generates a couple of the most clever, personals site. Click for men make up dating profile is the gym to write an actual example for singles at dynamic introductions is funny and have fun.

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